A Russian Orphan Fights to Stop Ban on Adoptions

Posted: Dec 27, 2012 - 5:08am

http://www.theworld.org/2012/12/a-russian-orphan-fights-to-stop-ban-on-adoptions/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=a-russian-orphan-fights-to-stop-ban-on-adoptions

A Russian Orphan Fights to Stop Ban on Adoptions

Posted: Dec 6, 2012 - 10:21am

PoundPuppy wrote:

Wow. That is huge. I'm adopted too and I've looked some and put my name and info into a couple of adoption registries, but wow. Keep me posted.
I have a friend who is also an adopted kid. Her bio mother hired a PI to find her. They've met and she went to a family reunion. C said it was odd seeing people who had some of the same features and mannerisms.
She also met her bio father who had no idea she even existed.
A lot to process indeed.

See below...

cc_rider wrote:

I've posted about my experience elsewhere. Drop me a line anytime.

Thanks...I saw your post the other day but didn't get a chance to reply until after the weekend and then it probably got buried...

My reply.

Posted: Dec 6, 2012 - 10:19am

kysmet wrote:

So apparently, running across my biological mother's online presence last Friday has kinda thrown me for a loop. I don't have time to deal with or process this right now because I have so much going with the holidays and such but it's there...in the back of my mind...and I'm going to have to figure out eventually what to do with/about it, if anything.

I've posted about my experience elsewhere. Drop me a line anytime.

Posted: Dec 6, 2012 - 10:14am

kysmet wrote:

So apparently, running across my biological mother's online presence last Friday has kinda thrown me for a loop. I don't have time to deal with or process this right now because I have so much going with the holidays and such but it's there...in the back of my mind...and I'm going to have to figure out eventually what to do with/about it, if anything.

Wow. That is huge. I'm adopted too and I've looked some and put my name and info into a couple of adoption registries, but wow. Keep me posted.
I have a friend who is also an adopted kid. Her bio mother hired a PI to find her. They've met and she went to a family reunion. C said it was odd seeing people who had some of the same features and mannerisms.
She also met her bio father who had no idea she even existed.
A lot to process indeed.

Posted: Dec 4, 2012 - 7:52pm

kysmet wrote:

So apparently, running across my biological mother's online presence last Friday has kinda thrown me for a loop. I don't have time to deal with or process this right now because I have so much going with the holidays and such but it's there...in the back of my mind...and I'm going to have to figure out eventually what to do with/about it, if anything.

Wow.

Posted: Dec 4, 2012 - 7:36pm

So apparently, running across my biological mother's online presence last Friday has kinda thrown me for a loop. I don't have time to deal with or process this right now because I have so much going with the holidays and such but it's there...in the back of my mind...and I'm going to have to figure out eventually what to do with/about it, if anything.

Posted: May 13, 2012 - 10:53am

I'm lucky enough to be the mental health consultant on the International Adoption Health Program team.

Get out your tissues.
http://www.philly.com/philly/health/151272865.html

Daunting problems, undaunted parents

By Tom Avril

Inquirer Staff Writer

< ymaps begin 1 >< ymaps end 1 >< debug 62342717 (actual) >

< photoselector here >

MICHAEL S. WIRTZ / Staff Photographer

Susanna Musser holds Katie. When the Mussers of Lancaster County adopted Katie, a child with Down syndrome, from an orphanage, she was less than 11 pounds - and 9 years old.

Reduced to bare numbers, the story of Katie seems impossible.

Age: 9 1/2 years.

Height: 29 inches.

Weight: Less than 11 pounds.

Yet that is how she was, lying in a crib in a Bulgarian orphanage, when Susanna Musser showed up to become her mom.

The little girl was alive, more or less. Her legs looked thin as broomsticks. Her skin was colorless, her brown eyes empty. She looked as if she might break.

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 7:25am

buzz wrote:

is that why a lot of people look like their dogs?

Nah..blame that one on the hair saloon/barbershops and the collective unconscious mind.

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 7:00am

buzz wrote:

is that why a lot of people look like their dogs?

HA!

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 6:58am

meower wrote:

because they are.

is that why a lot of people look like their dogs?

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 6:53am

HazzeSwede wrote:

The kids I mentioned were all adopted as babies,,the youngest one on the mentioned painting,was ,like ten years old at the time,,
they all look like mam&dad and the kids as from the same mold.....could be the painter...

I was adopted as a baby as well (13 days old). I think there's definitely something to be said for taking on characteristics and mannerisms of people you live with, which is probably what a lot of people who meet my mom and me in person pick up on.

Back when I was adopted, the agency did its best to match couples and children with similar traits and when my parents adopted my brother, they were asked if they would mind a child whose parents were red heads since there was a chance the baby could have red hair and look nothing like our parents. They didn't mind but he actually ended up being blond.

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 6:38am

kysmet wrote:

My mom and I always get a kick out of it when I meet someone she knows for the first time and they comment on how much I look like her. She's fair-skinned with blonde hair and blue eyes whereas I'm more olive-toned with brown hair and brown eyes.

The kids I mentioned were all adopted as babies,,the youngest one on the mentioned painting,was ,like ten years old at the time,,
they all look like mam&dad and the kids as from the same mold.....could be the painter...

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 6:09am

HazzeSwede wrote:

True,I know a family up state NY,that has 4 adopted children,,amazingly,on the oil painting above the fireplace,
they all look like "family" !

My mom and I always get a kick out of it when I meet someone she knows for the first time and they comment on how much I look like her. She's fair-skinned with blonde hair and blue eyes whereas I'm more olive-toned with brown hair and brown eyes.

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 5:51am

HazzeSwede wrote:

True,I know a family up state NY,that has 4 adopted children,,amazingly,on the oil painting above the fireplace,
they all look like "family" !

because they are.

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 5:50am

meower wrote:

and amazing people who decide to make it different for one or more of them

True,I know a family up state NY,that has 4 adopted children,,amazingly,on the oil painting above the fireplace,
they all look like "family" !

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 5:43am

meower wrote:

and amazing people who decide to make it different for one or more of them

So true.

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 5:39am

and amazing people who decide to make it different for one or more of them

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 5:36am

That is a heart breaking story. Those poor children.

Posted: Dec 14, 2011 - 5:31am

A very good friend, JUST adopted their second child, a girl from Russia. When you adopt from Russia, you make several trips to meet the child, the adoption was finalized yesterday, this is her story of picking her up......
So, we get to the baby home.
I go up to the rest room, then Jeff goes up.
As I stand there waiting, the orphanage director comes in with a little girl dressed up to the TILT, along with our coordinator's daughter who helps our coordinator with adoptions and who met us in court and helped us in court...
The baby is facing the orphanage director, hanging on for dear life crying her head off, and i see a head of dark hair, a body that is a tad longer and skinnier than i recall, and hear crying crying crying...
They put the baby on the floor and push her toward me, now with her facing me....
I think, "Wait, tanya said this morning she saw her last week and she had really changed, but wait a minute? this much in just 2 weeks??"...
I found myself staring at a dark haired wonder with much skinnier cheeks and taller body.
She is crying so badly her eyes are schrunched up, and while I am beyond shocked that i feel NOTHING for this child, I feel terribly so bring her in for a hug..
My heart is POUNDING....POUNDING POUNDING.....
I think, OH GOD PLEASE... I thought this moment would finally make it ALL feel right... that all the craziness of the last bunch of months would go away the moment we KNEW we were holding her and NEVER letting go of her again..... but this is NOT RIGHT. this DOES NOT FEEL LIKE MY DAUGHTER..
Truly, My eyes are welling up as I type this.
I calm the baby down briefly enough to get a GOOD look at her FULL skinnier cheeked face .. I push back the longer black bangs that had fallen into her face and try to console her... she calms and opens her big eyes and looks at me....and I see — BLACK EYES>>>
WAIT... I said.... what happened?? I am stunned, probably stuttering, and am SURE that at that point I am absolutely beyond sheet white and everyone can hear my heart pounding...
The orphanage director looked at me and said smiling, through the coordinator who translated, "what, do you think we are giving you the wrong baby?"...
My coordinator then says "are you ok, do you still want her?"
I GULP. Probably audibly. Want her? of course I want our daughter... but....
My heart drops 10 elevator floors even lower and I am literally about to cry.... WHAT???
Then, the orphanage director turns the baby and looks at her.
She gives a great big GASP and what MUST have been an "OH CRAP" in Russian —
I am NOT KIDDING YOU>
They gave me the WRONG BABY.
Poor Jeff walked in at some point on all this — I am not sure what point, honestly, because I truly think I lost 10 years off my life in those few moments.
They whisked away that baby and moments later our coordinators daughter is giving me some rig-a-moral about that baby is going home NEXT tuesday and the caregivers got the babies wrong and woke up and got dressed the wrong baby..and the orphanage director didn't look closely because they both have dark hair, same room, they both have the same name, etc etc. Honestly, I am not even exactly sure what they said except to know that i truly was mentally scraping myself off the floor and trying to re-center my heart rate... and trying not to scream "that wasn't even slightly funny" and yet laughing because otherwise i would have CRIED and i didn't want OUR BABY To see her mama crying today....

Then they brought down OUR baby.
As soon as they brought her in, She locked eyes with me and I with her... I am not sure if she really did, but I know I smiled and would like to think she did to
I was just so relieved. And I didn't even hesitate.
THIS WAS OUR BABY GIRL... My HEART KNEW HER.
I HAD NO DOUBT.

Posted: Sep 14, 2010 - 5:42pm

buzz wrote:

why am i not surprised