I just want to say thank you to Meowie and Raspy for helping me get through some rough times in the last few months and getting me to think more clearly and accept some rough stuff.

 Love you both,but you can forget about a manhug Raspy.

  I was shocked at the amount of support I received.

   Once I get my shit back together I'll share the best song I ever wrote with you guys.I've been threatening Hippie with it for about 2 years,but didn't want to do the recording because the song hurts.

 Life hurts.

Then you deal with it.

The other day I posted an old song in the journals that I wrote that Kurtster helped me with.
  He was cool enough to mention that THE MAN is Hippie.
   
 Hippie coached up Kurtster out of the kindness of his heart.

 Hippie helped me with some of my songs also for no reason than his soul is pure.

  Thank you Hippie and Kurt,my bros.

I came across this on my hard drive toniight.I posted this a couple years ago,and somebody who I have no beef with said it sucked.

 I beg to differ.

If anyone wants to rip one off like this from the top of their head, hey, be my friggin' guest. LOLOLOLOLOLOLO.Good luck,it's real easy to do. LOLOLOLOLO


 

 

   This was a post that Justlistening made about Amy Winehouse that I thought was so spot on it deserved to be separate from the usual forum rumblings and rantings and was worthy of a journal post.

justlistening wrote: 
Good post.There's nothing creepier and scarier than people thinking you're something you're not, just because you have the idiot savant ability to create beautiful ...

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Update from my Dad about what a good kid I was—Oh Geez why did I get him started?

    "Sometime after the cats and sandbox,your mother called me to the Princeton hospital where you had been taken for treatment of a rather  severe head blow.I rushed to the scene and the E R Doctor informed us that there was no danger but you had a few lacerations to the head which he treated and he wanted you to remain in the hospital over night as you had a slight concussion.
      I was able to learn from you at your bedside that the injuries stemmed from a game of "BUMP CARS"  in which the two players butted heads like mountain goats.  Steve continued to train his pet rock and a good time was had by all,except for the school,the school nurse, the Doctors and the poor parents who bore the ...

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OK- I asked my Dad 2 things the other night.The first was why, when I was a 3-5 year old kid, every time he'd stop the car and get a turtle out of the middle of the road he would take it home and name it Pete.Even back then, when his IQ was still around 180 he would even call pigeons that.  I never knew why.

   I also asked him why the cats stopped shitting in the sandbox in New Jersey when I was a kid.

 His email response follows-(the stuff in red is my edits)

1. One night in ( town name deleted by me)either you or your brother caught a critter ( I think a turtle) and the captor was displaying it. Dayton(my beloved uncle) gave it a name off the top of his head : Pete. We later named many things Pete. No further story. ...

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I dug this up on an old cassette and Hippie was kind enough to clean it up for me.

  It sounds kind of ominous, but it's actually a love song.

  I started playing when I was 14 and cut off the left ring fingertip 14 years later.

 I was in such emotional pain that I didn't play for years.

  I thought I'd lost the thing I loved most.

  A few years later I was on a vacation out West (that was scheduled to be 2 weeks, but stretched into 5)and had a fling with a ski instructor chick.She was very spiritual and somehow she healed me.She also had a guitar and I just picked it up and started playing for her.It was the first time I'd played in years and it worked.I was stunned.

 Anyway,I owned a business on the East Coast and there was no way she was leaving the mountains,so we both knew it was just a brief,wonderful moment in time that had no future,but we made the most of ...

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Although our time together has been brief,( I somehow  never really trusted you) I want you to know that I have never experienced anything as deep as this.

 Oh sure, I've had my share of winter weather incidents.Sleet,freezing  rain, that type of thing. Hail, I've got to admit, I've got an affinity for a nice slushy.

  However, it's now clear that your interest in me is receding. Even as I type I feel you withdrawing from me despite my best efforts to have you stay.

 Hey, can I get one more  snow  job before you go?

If  only  I could paint
I'd create  a portrait
Of all the tears
In a jar
Like multi colored Beans
Of so many beautiful hues
Previously unknown to so  many
If only I could   paint

So you're out there in the morning.The sun is just starting to peek over the edge of the mountain to your east.

  There's a little pool near the river bank  where the water is really still.There's a line of rocks that run at maybe a 20 degree angle,actually angling into it while you're angling.

  It was probably built by Indians hundreds of years ago as a fish trap.

 As you contemplate that, you suck it up, dispel with the poetry and get back to the mission - to catch the evil fish by being smarter.

 There are little foggy smoke like incantations dancing above the water.No doubt they are mere minions of the bass that lie beneath, clearly on a mission to distract you from your purpose.

  You cast your topwater lure into the almost calm pool.

 Nothing.Hmm.Clearly the light refraction of the rising sun has made the sneaky little bastids go over there, under ...

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Recently I've responded to some of Exo's anti- American rants like a drunk in a bar who is getting poked in the chest by somebodies finger.Part of the reason for that is I spent a brief spell off the wagon, since negotiated and fixed.

I'd like to apologize to everyone for some of the comments I made.Not so much for the content itself, but rather for the total lack of appropriateness for this place.

I'm not looking for a debate, I'm just going to offer a brief explanation and then those who want to judge me on one of my more fucked attributes are free to do so.



These are a few pics of me and my uncle.In the summers from about age 9 or 10 on my parents used to take me down to Union Station and put me on the train to his place a couple hundred miles away in the mountains.(They'd probably get tossed in jail for that nowadays ...

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I posted this in the "What makes you laugh "  thread, but for some strange reason beyond my comprehension,  I am compelled to put it here in the journals too.

  I know a lot of RP folks have had some sad things happen to them lately in regards to their families.

 Please my friends, don't pass your chances  to say something like this to someone you love, even though it's hard.

  bokey wrote:

I've been scrounging around my hard drives, and evidently for one period (last winter sometime)besides last summer when I bought a new mic and recorded a few songs that I posted here, I also had a spare PC setup with my mic and stuff all hooked up and got more out of it than I thought. I hate recording, it messes up my mood when I have to tweak dials(or I guess software now).

(Ok- Hope that was clear, cause it gets even more werser and even less coherent from here on out)
But sometimes I do it, although the words of Bill G., in regards to either JJ Cale or John Cale(or some frigging guy anyway) resound in my ears-to paraphrase" artists( not that I am one) shouldn't record their own stuff, cause they are musicians, not audio pros"

As a wise man known as Eric Cartman once said- "I just want to playyyyyy"
Anyway, ...

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I'm so lazy- anyone want to comment on this throwaway I found on my hard drive?


    http://www.radioparadise.com/c-content.php?name=Forums&file=showtopic&topic_id=11573&x=2348947


   

  Tonight   I fell off the wagon  after about 2 years of sobriety.
  Got    4   .    no, 6 beers in me right now.

  Don't care.

 My fathers IQ wasn't able to fit into the Armies IQ  test in the '40s so they just said it was 180  to dumb it down to where nobody had to redo the chart.( mine has been tested twice and wasn't that high.)  I'm pretty sure he's a little bit above the Vonwhatever chick.

 
  My brother got a score of 1600  on the SATS(as in he got ALL  the questions right).

        My Mom was the  smartest of us all.

  We drink.   We drink hard.

          Gottdamm right. Fuggit.

  I ...

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Today I dumped a portion of my mother's ashes off a bridge on the exercise trail that was built for the community as a result of her tireless years of lobbying for the funding.

 They swirled away in the stream forming a cloud like pattern that I could have imagined to be anything I wanted, but I didn't need to imagine anything.

  
  Some of the grey sediment settled  on the bottom of the stream in a v-shaped pattern pointing downstream.

    Small fish came out of the cloudy ripples  and hovered over the grey pattern formed by the part of her remains that sank into the bed of the stream.

     Some will wash away with the next hard rain, some will work it's way down and become part of the foundation of the streambed.

     Some washed downstream and into the first big series of tiny ...

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I mean crap! I was at the barbers yesterday ,and they had a show called "Inside Edition" on and it was going on and on about American Idol and shilling for some other upcoming similar creep show,only with dancing or monkeys or something.

I mean crap!!(again) A TV show that's sole purose is to advertise for a TV show that isn't even anything in the first place(but does provide amusement and snarktime for some of the more deviant RP members) ?

I wanted to puke but there was this Asian woman with scissors and I was too scared to run out the door screaming.