I took a bit of time out of my day on Friday to sit down and take part in an almost forgotten ritual of my youth - I watched the live broadcast of the launch of the space shuttle Atlantis - the last space shuttle mission of the US.  I watched with millions of others as a behemoth piece of equipment slowly rose off the ground, quickly picking up speed that would allow it to break the grip of the planet and travel into near space.  This is something that had become almost routine over the years but we know it is not and watched with a distinct memory of a January day in 1986 when routine turned to tragedy.  This final lift off went off without a hitch, thankfully, and now our final shuttle crew circles above us.

We love to name our generations these days so allow me the indulgence of claiming membership in the "Space Generation".  We are the generation that literally grew up with manned space flight.  We may vaguely remember ...

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Just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for their thoughts and comments on my last two entries. It was very much a cathartic exercise and I wasn’t really depressed just somewhat pensive. I’m sorry if it caused undue concern. I very much live a life I have chosen and am pretty happy. But then again my friend Ray has led a very good life and has such a difficult road ahead. Having you Rpeeps around helps “pick up the slack” and I truly appreciate all of you.

Fears will continue to crop up. In the middle of the night, that time when you wake up and your mind seems to be clearly focused on a thought you don’t recognize. We live and meet our fears head on, or at least make our best attempt.

On a side note, exactly what time is “the middle of the night”? 1-2-3 AM? Of course in Radio Paradise it is always the middle of the night somewhere, that is kinda scary in itself, or maybe somewhat comforting. Anyways - thank you RP comrades ...


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“Well” Ray asked, “what is your biggest fear?”

The question had been crossing my mind a lot lately so I didn’t have to think.

I live alone and have for a large portion of my life. I have consciously and unconsciously made decisions during my 52 years that have made this so. When I was younger I reveled in this arrangement, having spent 15 years sharing a single bedroom with two brothers. I did get married at 32 and divorced after 3 years. After that I had pretty well decided that I would live alone for the rest of my life. I didn’t necessarily like it but over time became comfortable with it.

When I was 45 I met a woman whom I fell in love with. We got engaged. She had 2 children and along with loving her I loved the idea of gaining a family. It just didn’t work. There is no need for the boring details but basically we differed in our ideas of child rearing plus I wasn’t ambitious enough for the plans she had made for her family. ...


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I spoke with my best friend, Ray today. He lives about 200 miles away and we talk regularly though we only see each other 2-3 times a year. I take the relationship of friend seriously so I don’t really have many friends. Many acquaintances whom I like, and whose company I enjoy, but only a few friends. And Ray is my best friend,

About 18 months ago he was going to retire as a school speech therapist after 30 years. Ray is only 54, loves hiking and camping, and was looking forward to a new beginning, trying to decide what to do for a second career. He also was looking to work on his relationship with his wife which, after 26 years, was shaky. A week before his final work day his wife had a stroke as a result of a brain aneurism and for many months it appeared she would be brain dead. Ray would be faced with having to make an unthinkable decision. As it turned out his wife has recovered to the point where she can speak a little, walk and take ...


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Working out of the house I have had to set several ground rules to make sure things get done. One is I leave the TV off during the day but things have been slow with work since last week so I flipped it on this afternoon. I try to avoid watching news channels but was surfing through that end of the TV play list. Ya know, CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, NWI, and of course that gem of "fair and balanced¨ news, FOX.

According to these information wizards here's what's going on:

„« A highly paid sports figure is going to trial for rape. This is important because they all devote so much time to the story. The ramifications to our safety and security must be enormous.

„« The brother of the President is spending all his time as Gov of Florida telling someone they have to artificially continue the life of a loved one who apparently has no hope of coming out of a vegetative state. I am going to seriously consider moving to Florida as they must have solved all ...


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Life is too short.
-Mr. Big


Damn internet service is down again so I’ll just do this in Word and transfer later. I miss not being able to visit with the citizens of RP world, it is a nice break in the day and great to be in touch with so many good people. Lily’s journal entry concerning rediscovery and moving on has been on my mind a large part of the day.

For the last two years I have been essentially going through the motions and in the end I know it’s because I just gave up, Gave up on life for the most part. I still do the work thing and do it pretty well but there is no interest and I can’t find anything to put passion back in my life. Thought I had found the answer but when that went sour I unconsciously figured it was all too late.

Whoa this is getting way too morose. Gotta step back. But in the end life is too short and I need to get back on the horse. If the internet ever comes back I’ll have to thank lily for the impetus ...


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An ocean of ink in a single drop,
Trembling at the tip of my brush.
Poised above stark white paper,
A universe waits for existence.
- Deng Ming-Dao


Thought I’d take a crack at the journal in RP. A way to reflect and let fellow RPeeples know something about me. Not sure what types of things may show up here but I can promise none of it will ever be considered profound, a touch may be mildly interesting and the majority will most likely be viewed as the whining of a mid-American male deep in the throes of middle age, that should probably seriously consider seeking professional help just to save the rest of the population from his bitching. The pro’s are paid for that aren’t they?

So what’s to say? My name is Jeff, I’m 51, married at one time but divorced for 17 years. No kids, a great dog (for anyone with children I’m not equating the two) and I work out of a home office as Administrator for the Greater Cleveland Nurses Association, the ...


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