the first year is the hardest. things get easier after that. Love you K

The first fathers day without mine.  Its not a gut check feeling or anything.  Just kinda empty.

But this is my sister's B'Day and her first fathers day without her Dad and her husband is deep into his battle with cancer.  Her's has got to be really lonely and terrifying.

Mine is just gonna be another weird long / short day at the OK Corral.

I hope it works out for you.Now I'm going to watch an episode of Game of Thrones, and once I fall asleep in my chair,I'm going to slap myself in the face a couple times,get up and crawl into my much missed bed.Baseball will just have to do without me this afternoon(hopefully,I'm kind of OCD about it and might wake up with a panic attack to check the scores out)

Sounds like a good plan for you to make it a less stressful day.

And I was just sitting here thinking that I need to turn Father's Day into a celebration of my husband, who truly IS a heroic father who has taught his child valuable lessons, worked hard his whole life to give his kid a good life, and made sacrifices aplenty for his family. He is a true hero.

There you go !

Lemons into lemonade.

And I was just sitting here thinking that I need to turn Father's Day into a celebration of my husband, who truly IS a heroic father who has taught his child valuable lessons, worked hard his whole life to give his kid a good life, and made sacrifices aplenty for his family. He is a true hero.

Judi I think you should take pride and be happy that you did not turn out like him. That's a lesson right there. One of your own making.

Father's Day. Isn't that awful? My dad is still alive, yet Father's Day is depressing to me. I go onto FB or other social media and see everyone I know profusely and sincerely thanking their dads for everything they've done for their children over the years. I see talk of "heroes" and "forever love" and "for all you've done", and I know it's something I will never be able to participate in. I see photos posted, old black and whites, of the men who raised my closest family and friends, and know that my dad's face will never appear with such a tribute.

I could lie, of course. I could rhapsodize about how well he took care of me, all the lessons he taught me, all the sacrifices he made, and the way he taught me to be the stand-up person I am today, but it would all be fake, none of it would be real. Because he was a drunk and a womanizer who spent every free minute boozing and gambling in AC. He's a proficient and obsessive liar who bullies anyone who dares to stand up and call him out on his lying. He had no lessons to teach, because he barely knew or cared that he had a daughter who might need him for such things. He made no sacrifice, and took no care, and showed no interest. Not just throughout my childhood, but throughout my life. Hell, I don't even have a photo of him and I together that I could post because I don't think one ever existed. There are tons of photos of him during the war, with one floozie or another hanging on his arm. There are tons of photos of him with his buddies, and his brothers, and his cars. But I can't remember a single photo of him holding any of his three kids, or playing with us, or being proud of us.

I'm sorry if I sound bitter on a day that's set aside for being happy. I really am not, not anymore, I feel like I've worked through all that. What I am left with is a deep sadness, and a twinge of jealousy, when I see all these great tributes to great men and know that it's just another day of struggling with my old man, trying to make him happy yet again.

Pops feels guilty about my back being messed up from helping him up the last few months..He all but insisted I apply some Absorbine Jr.

I  acquiesced to make him happy.

The stuff stinks and I'll have to change my sheets tomorrow if I sleep in my bed instead of the chair.

He also said I've lost a lot of weight recently. I never wear a shirt unless I'm going to the store,so I guess it was noticeable. I don't spend any time in front of a mirror and hadn't noticed.

I got on the scale and Holy Crap, I'm one pound  over my high school weight.

I packed on 25 pounds of muscle in boot camp,and after my recycling gig I was like a friggin' rock.
I think he's blaming that on himself also due to all the stress.

 I've got to make him happy on Fathers Day.

Pops feels guilty about my back being messed up from helping him up the last few months..He all but insisted I apply some Absorbine Jr.

I  acquiesced to make him happy.

The stuff stinks and I'll have to change my sheets tomorrow if I sleep in my bed instead of the chair.

He also said I've lost a lot of weight recently. I never wear a shirt unless I'm going to the store,so I guess it was noticeable. I don't spend any time in front of a mirror and hadn't noticed.

I got on the scale and Holy Crap, I'm one pound  over my high school weight.

I packed on 25 pounds of muscle in boot camp,and after my recycling gig I was like a friggin' rock.
I think he's blaming that on himself also due to all the stress.

 I've got to make him happy on Fathers Day.

for sailor and bokey

seems like every time i speak to one of the group i grew up with someone is either sick or gone...

 

Such a nice lady.

i'll do it for you right now!

i'll do it for you right now!

i'll do it for you right now!