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Isabeau
peep
Isabeau Avatar

Location: sou' tex
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Jan 16, 2016 - 9:13am

 Alexandra wrote:
I have also learned from people (and articles) that seniors that are up around 90+ years old experience just being much differently than we (as much younger, active people) do.
 
To us, sitting in silence in the great hall of a facility sounds boring beyond words. To them, their bodies are very, very tired from having walked there from down a long hallway. Long conversations (when they can't remember much anyway) can be exhausting. Sometimes just sitting and doing nothing feels comfortable for them. Especially if they're sitting among peers. Kind of like when you see a bunch of seagulls on the beach all flocked together in silence. Some with heads under their wings. Just being.
 
Fantastic insight. Very glad to know this. Thanks Alex.
Isabeau
peep
Isabeau Avatar

Location: sou' tex
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Jan 16, 2016 - 9:10am

 miamizsun wrote:
how can i get an application for the in crowd?

i swear i'm cool and i'm in red dragon's smart ass clique 

 
{#Lol} 
Antigone

Antigone Avatar

Location: A house, in a Virginian Valley
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Aquarius
Chinese Yr: Rat


Posted: Jan 16, 2016 - 8:52am

 Alexandra wrote:
I have also learned from people (and articles) that seniors that are up around 90+ years old experience just being much differently than we (as much younger, active people) do.
 
To us, sitting in silence in the great hall of a facility sounds boring beyond words. To them, their bodies are very, very tired from having walked there from down a long hallway. Long conversations (when they can't remember much anyway) can be exhausting. Sometimes just sitting and doing nothing feels comfortable for them. Especially if they're sitting among peers. Kind of like when you see a bunch of seagulls on the beach all flocked together in silence. Some with heads under their wings. Just being.

 
When my mother was failing I was told by a very wise person that it's normal for an older person's world to get "smaller" ... because, as you say, it's more comfortable and can be less confusing for them.  {#Meditate}
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 16, 2016 - 8:27am

I have also learned from people (and articles) that seniors that are up around 90+ years old experience just being much differently than we (as much younger, active people) do.
 
To us, sitting in silence in the great hall of a facility sounds boring beyond words. To them, their bodies are very, very tired from having walked there from down a long hallway. Long conversations (when they can't remember much anyway) can be exhausting. Sometimes just sitting and doing nothing feels comfortable for them. Especially if they're sitting among peers. Kind of like when you see a bunch of seagulls on the beach all flocked together in silence. Some with heads under their wings. Just being.


Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 16, 2016 - 8:24am

 miamizsun wrote:

bokey's link has a lot of great info

you may ask someone (if you haven't already like an employee or fellow relative of an existing resident)

i wish you all the best and i'm sure you'll do an excellent job during this stage of your life

your mom is very fortunate to have a daughter like you

{#Biggrin}  {#Hug}
 
 
Well thanks. There is only so much my sister Joan and I can do (she's in Hawaii, I'm in Oregon) from afar—that's why I'm glad I had those 4 years back in Ohio (between California and Oregon) to live with her and buy her 4 extra years of comfy living in her own home.
 
Mom's fortunate to have all the other siblings back where she lives too—who are doing all the heavy lifting now, so to speak.
 
It's just that the more her dementia progresses, the more she's sitting around her facility unattended and perhaps feeling confused about where she is. Good time for other caring people to show up (on days the siblings aren't there). I'm glad I can at least do that for her, from where I am.
 



miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 16, 2016 - 7:54am

 Alexandra wrote:


This made me laugh. Thank you.
 
Wow, I seem to be finding success with personal friends, old students, and former high school classmates on Facebook. This is far more ideal than researching any group with strangers. My cousin also said there were volunteers from my aunt's church who visited in her final years. I'm calling Mom's church tomorrow.
 
Bokey - good to see you. I hope you're feeling way better than I've been hearing about.

 
bokey's link has a lot of great info

you may ask someone (if you haven't already like an employee or fellow relative of an existing resident)

i wish you all the best and i'm sure you'll do an excellent job during this stage of your life

your mom is very fortunate to have a daughter like you

{#Biggrin}  {#Hug}

Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 15, 2016 - 6:20pm

 oldviolin wrote:

{#Good-vibes}

 
Back at ya, OV. Thanks.
oldviolin
ab origine
oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: Jan 15, 2016 - 6:17pm

 Alexandra wrote:

 
Thanks.
 
I think her facility has groups like that come in, but I don't think there's ever one person who comes to just her on a regular basis on a specific day, which is what we're hoping for. However, if I don't find enough peeps through my FB method of personal friends, acquaintances and her church—I will delve further into these groups.
 
I also think someone should bring her a lap cat. She loves affectionate cats who aren't afraid.

 
{#Good-vibes}
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 15, 2016 - 6:13pm

 JrzyTmata wrote:

call the local high schools, scouts, boys and girls clubs and whatever you can think of that might have community outreach groups. one of our local HS has an Inter-generational club that would visit senior centers weekly. It is run by the school counselors. there must be some group local to mom that does it or maybe will start a group.

 
 
Thanks.
 
I think her facility has groups like that come in, but I don't think there's ever one person who comes to just her on a regular basis on a specific day, which is what we're hoping for. However, if I don't find enough peeps through my FB method of personal friends, acquaintances and her church—I will delve further into these groups.
 
I also think someone should bring her a lap cat. She loves affectionate cats who aren't afraid.


miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 15, 2016 - 2:50pm

 Isabeau wrote:

Mom fell in August, after taking care of a 100% disabled Marine vet, without a left eye, ear or arm for 44+ years. I moved in a small bedroom in September. The sudden responsibility has been mind boggling, Military Medical and Pharmaceuticals (medals should be given for wait periods) but the ensuing Sixty year old house breakdowns (major gas leak, 5 plumbing visits, new gas stove, electric and now a new refrigerator/freezor backup for garage) Its been crazy, angry, tearful and wonderful. Grateful to be able to help and getting to know them, but makes the inevitable that much more heartbreaking. And the ol man's defiance over PC 'bullshit' keeps him puffing away while mom is desperately trying to stop. I just keep busy and help as much as possible.
Perversely, it helps knowing I'm in with the "In Crowd."
 
first kudos for the dedication  {#Cheers}

bokey's commitment was ennobling

when my dad fell he shattered his hip

he lasted about 20 and died from an embolism in his sleep (i miss that guy)


how can i get an application for the in crowd?


i swear i'm cool and i'm in red dragon's smart ass clique 
Isabeau
peep
Isabeau Avatar

Location: sou' tex
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Jan 15, 2016 - 2:29pm

 miamizsun wrote:

did something similar at my dad's house

he was a heavy smoker and his friends would come over and play cards and cribbage

they all smoked like chimneys

kilz is awesome for coverage

 
Mom fell in August, after taking care of a 100% disabled Marine vet, without a left eye, ear or arm for 44+ years. I moved in a small bedroom in September. The sudden responsibility has been mind boggling, Military Medical and Pharmaceuticals (medals should be given for wait periods) but the ensuing Sixty year old house breakdowns (major gas leak, 5 plumbing visits, new gas stove, electric and now a new refrigerator/freezor backup for garage) has pushed us to our limits. Its been crazy, angry, tearful and wonderful. Grateful to be able to help and getting to know them, but makes the inevitable that much more heartbreaking. And the ol man's defiance over PC 'bullshit' keeps him puffing away while mom is desperately trying to stop. I just keep busy and try to stay grateful for what IS.
Perversely, it helps knowing I'm in with the "In Crowd." 


miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 15, 2016 - 2:23pm

 Isabeau wrote:

...and KILZ latex.

I'm having to clean 44+ years of two heavy smokers' nicotine from a 1,400 sq ft house. Lovely job.  Me loves Latex Gloves, 409 and KILZ {#Wave} AND RP to git'er done!

 
did something similar at my dad's house

he was a heavy smoker and his friends would come over and play cards and cribbage

they all smoked like chimneys

kilz is awesome for coverage
JrzyTmata
You say tomato, I say "Hi Charlie!"
JrzyTmata Avatar



Posted: Jan 15, 2016 - 2:22pm

 Alexandra wrote:


This made me laugh. Thank you.
 
Wow, I seem to be finding success with personal friends, old students, and former high school classmates on Facebook. This is far more ideal than researching any group with strangers. My cousin also said there were volunteers from my aunt's church who visited in her final years. I'm calling Mom's church tomorrow.
 
Bokey - good to see you. I hope you're feeling way better than I've been hearing about.

 
call the local high schools, scouts, boys and girls clubs and whatever you can think of that might have community outreach groups. one of our local HS has an Inter-generational club that would visit senior centers weekly. It is run by the school counselors. there must be some group local to mom that does it or maybe will start a group.
bokey
Liberals shop at Amazon
bokey Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 14, 2016 - 7:38pm

 Alexandra wrote:


This made me laugh. Thank you.
 
Wow, I seem to be finding success with personal friends, old students, and former high school classmates on Facebook. This is far more ideal than researching any group with strangers. My cousin also said there were volunteers from my aunt's church who visited in her final years. I'm calling Mom's church tomorrow.
 
Bokey - good to see you. I hope you're feeling way better than I've been hearing about.

 
Nothing a new coat of paint or 2 won't take care of.{#Lol} Good luck with your endeavors regarding your Mom.My best helper with Pops was a guy we both knew since he was 5 and I was  6.He was the only person besides myself that Pops would let pick him up without bitching.Friends are indeed your best resource.{#Hug}


Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 14, 2016 - 7:26pm

 bokey wrote:

Ohio Department of Aging

 

Always start with your states version of this.This is the mother lode of all elder info,it will take some digging and disappointment.Try to get some direction from someone who works there and gives a crap.If you run across an unhelpful employee,smack them aside and move on to their supervisor.As with anything involving caretaking,you need the attitude that you are the Terminator and anything that tries to stop you has to go, and go very quickly indeed.



 

This made me laugh. Thank you.
 
Wow, I seem to be finding success with personal friends, old students, and former high school classmates on Facebook. This is far more ideal than researching any group with strangers. My cousin also said there were volunteers from my aunt's church who visited in her final years. I'm calling Mom's church tomorrow.
 
Bokey - good to see you. I hope you're feeling way better than I've been hearing about.
bokey
Liberals shop at Amazon
bokey Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 14, 2016 - 7:19pm

 Alexandra wrote:

Does anyone know of any organizations/groups who have volunteers that just sit with elderly people in facilities (assisted living, etc.) and do short visits or watch a TV show with them?

 

I plan to check with friends of the family, any groups my mom's church might have, and any groups the facility itself might know of.

 

I think the best sort of person would be another older female person—perhaps a widow who would like some company who is still high functioning—and with a more reserved (not loud and assertive) personality.

 



 

Ohio Department of Aging

 

Always start with your states version of this.This is the mother lode of all elder info,it will take some digging and disappointment.Try to get some direction from someone who works there and gives a crap.If you run across an unhelpful employee,smack them aside and move on to their supervisor.As with anything involving caretaking,you need the attitude that you are the Terminator and anything that tries to stop you has to go, and go very quickly indeed.




Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 14, 2016 - 2:57pm

 Antigone wrote:

I wonder if there are any groups at a local college, or even high school, that have students do this sort of community service ... not the older woman you mention, but a thought. {#Good-vibes}

 
 

Thanks, yes - I'm sure there are. My coworker said she did that for a class at her college. I won't leave that stone unturned.


Antigone

Antigone Avatar

Location: A house, in a Virginian Valley
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Aquarius
Chinese Yr: Rat


Posted: Jan 14, 2016 - 2:54pm

 Alexandra wrote:

Does anyone know of any organizations/groups who have volunteers that just sit with elderly people in facilities (assisted living, etc.) and do short visits or watch a TV show with them?

 

I plan to check with friends of the family, any groups my mom's church might have, and any groups the facility itself might know of.

 

I think the best sort of person would be another older female person—perhaps a widow who would like some company who is still high functioning—and with a more reserved (not loud and assertive) personality.

 



 
I wonder if there are any groups at a local college, or even high school, that have students do this sort of community service ... not the older woman you mention, but a thought. {#Good-vibes}


Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 14, 2016 - 1:10pm

Does anyone know of any organizations/groups who have volunteers that just sit with elderly people in facilities (assisted living, etc.) and do short visits or watch a TV show with them?

 

I plan to check with friends of the family, any groups my mom's church might have, and any groups the facility itself might know of.

 

I think the best sort of person would be another older female person—perhaps a widow who would like some company who is still high functioning—and with a more reserved (not loud and assertive) personality.

 


Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Nov 27, 2015 - 9:13am

 GeneP59 wrote:

Happy birthday to your mom.  

 
 
Thanks, Gene.
 
I was thinking of you when I saw you post yesterday. A friend of mine once talked about going through the "year of firsts" after her dad passed. The "first Thanksgiving" without him, the "first Christmas" without him, etc. I know you've begun your year of firsts without your mom, and so I just felt a lot of compassion and hope that you had a good day yesterday.
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