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Index » Radio Paradise/General » General Discussion » Caretakers Of Our Parents Page: 1, 2, 3 ... 41, 42, 43  Next
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Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Apr 6, 2014 - 4:57pm

 ScottFromWyoming wrote:
 Alexandra wrote:
A wise friend 
 
You have one of those too? Excellent. 

 
 
I have several - but this one seemed to appear just when I needed to hear what he had to say.
 
 
 
Red_Dragon wrote:

perhaps she has already begun her next journey...

 
 
Perhaps. She might be all done, here and ready to move on to bigger and better things soon. And perhaps she will live until age 96 like her older sister! She's always been incredibly healthy and strong (bearing 9 kids, surviving a triple bypass, sailing into her late years without any meds, etc.).
 
No matter - we will live for the now.


ScottFromWyoming
I eat pints.
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Location: Powell
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Pisces
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: Apr 6, 2014 - 4:45pm

 Alexandra wrote:
A wise friend 
 
You have one of those too? Excellent. 
Red_Dragon
y ddraig goch ddyry gychwyn
Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Redneck Nation


Posted: Apr 6, 2014 - 4:35pm

 Alexandra wrote:
I feel compelled to say that what I wrote the other evening was in a rare moment of fear and desperation after a phone call with my sister.
 

 
A wise friend pointed out that now is the time, more than ever, to be glad my mom is alive and able to share...and to savor what time we have with her...letting go of all the other things we think we have control over. And so that is what I will do.

 
perhaps she has already begun her next journey...
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Apr 6, 2014 - 10:58am

I feel compelled to say that what I wrote the other evening was in a rare moment of fear and desperation after a phone call with my sister.
 

 
A wise friend pointed out that now is the time, more than ever, to be glad my mom is alive and able to share...and to savor what time we have with her...letting go of all the other things we think we have control over. And so that is what I will do.


olivertwist

olivertwist Avatar

Location: Atlanta GA
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Apr 6, 2014 - 9:36am

 Alexandra wrote:

 
I'm sorry to hear that, O.T. How old is she?
 
 
It's just a hard, heartbreaking time of life when parents reach a point of decline. Especially when some of us have chosen to live far away.
 
I'm still very grateful for the 4 years I got to care for her in her home before I left. Difficult as it was some days, it was so incredibly rewarding in so many ways.

 
She just turned 82 (on Wednesday).  Wish I could have been there. I plan on visiting again this summer.

 

You're right, being far away makes it that much more difficult. If I lived up there, I'd stop by regularly. Fortunately, I have a brother and sister who live near my parents, although I think they could do more to help. But it's easy to be a critic from a thousand miles away!


Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Apr 6, 2014 - 9:23am

 olivertwist wrote:

That's great that you're able to talk to your Mom like that. As has been said, though, she might surprise you and grow more comfortable in her new environment. {#Meditate}

I'm similarly worried about my Mom. When I visited at Christmas, I realized it's very possible that it could be the last time I'd see her during the holidays. She has emphysema and is no longer even able to take a few steps without gasping for breath. I believe she's only gone outside the house once or twice since Thanksgiving - to the doctor. My father's taking the best care of her that he can, but I realize that her condition could send her to the hospital any day. Not getting enough oxygen really takes its toll on every part of the body.



 
 
I'm sorry to hear that, O.T. How old is she?
 
 
It's just a hard, heartbreaking time of life when parents reach a point of decline. Especially when some of us have chosen to live far away.
 
I'm still very grateful for the 4 years I got to care for her in her home before I left. Difficult as it was some days, it was so incredibly rewarding in so many ways.
olivertwist

olivertwist Avatar

Location: Atlanta GA
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Apr 6, 2014 - 9:16am

 Alexandra wrote:

 
Thank you
 
 
And everyone else
 
 
Like R, I hope I'm wrong. She may surprise everyone yet. I told her she has to stay alive until June, when I get there - and she laughed and said she would—we have that kind of understanding when we talk to each other.

 
That's great that you're able to talk to your Mom like that. As has been said, though, she might surprise you and grow more comfortable in her new environment. {#Meditate}

I'm similarly worried about my Mom. When I visited at Christmas, I realized it's very possible that it could be the last time I'd see her during the holidays. She has emphysema and is no longer even able to take a few steps without gasping for breath. I believe she's only gone outside the house once or twice since Thanksgiving - to the doctor. My father's taking the best care of her that he can, but I realize that her condition could send her to the hospital any day. Not getting enough oxygen really takes its toll on every part of the body.


Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Apr 6, 2014 - 8:55am

 helenofjoy wrote:

{#Hug}{#Meditate}  So sorry.  I guess it's not surprising.  It seems the older we get, the more we need the comforts of what we know best.  No matter how much better something else might be too - that has been my own experience and I will never forget it.  My heart goes out to you Alexandra.

 
 
Thank you
 
 
And everyone else
 
 
Like R, I hope I'm wrong. She may surprise everyone yet. I told her she has to stay alive until June, when I get there - and she laughed and said she would—we have that kind of understanding when we talk to each other.
helenofjoy
What Day Is This?
helenofjoy Avatar

Location: Lincoln, Nebraska
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Pig


Posted: Apr 6, 2014 - 8:09am

 Alexandra wrote:
I don't think my mom will last long in her new place. It was just too late in her life to introduce a change that big—her home environment was much healthier without night noises waking her up, other sick people around, and a lot more walking for her tired lungs. She might have her good days, but overall.......I think it's going to diminish her strength, both physically and emotionally.
 
 
 
It was a gut feeling all along, that she'd go downhill if we moved her. but I tried to be positive about it. 
 
 
    
And there's not a Got damn thing I can do about it.
 
 
 
 

 
{#Hug}{#Meditate}  So sorry.  I guess it's not surprising.  It seems the older we get, the more we need the comforts of what we know best.  No matter how much better something else might be too - that has been my own experience and I will never forget it.  My heart goes out to you Alexandra.
kurtster
ignore the kitteh behind the kurtain
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Location: counting flowers on the wall ...
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Apr 4, 2014 - 7:53am

 Alexandra wrote:
I don't think my mom will last long in her new place. It was just too late in her life to introduce a change that big—her home environment was much healthier without night noises waking her up, other sick people around, and a lot more walking for her tired lungs. She might have her good days, but overall.......I think it's going to diminish her strength, both physically and emotionally.
 
 
 
It was a gut feeling all along, that she'd go downhill if we moved her. but I tried to be positive about it. 
 
 
    
And there's not a Got damn thing I can do about it.
 
 
 
 

 
{#Hug}
Coaxial
SHINE ON
Coaxial Avatar

Location: 543 miles west of Paradis,1491 miles east of Paradise
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Apr 4, 2014 - 7:33am

 Alexandra wrote:
I don't think my mom will last long in her new place. It was just too late in her life to introduce a change that big—her home environment was much healthier without night noises waking her up, other sick people around, and a lot more walking for her tired lungs. She might have her good days, but overall.......I think it's going to diminish her strength, both physically and emotionally.
 
 
 
It was a gut feeling all along, that she'd go downhill if we moved her. but I tried to be positive about it. 
 
 
    
And there's not a Got damn thing I can do about it.
 
 
 
 

 
{#Good-vibes}{#Pray}{#Meditate}I hope you are wrong....{#Hug}
oldviolin
ab origine
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Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: Apr 4, 2014 - 7:32am

 Alexandra wrote:


 

 
 
Thank you. I've had to do a lot of letting go, lately.........and it's not easy. 

 
{#Good-vibes}
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Apr 4, 2014 - 7:28am

 meower wrote:




 

 

 
 
Thank you. I've had to do a lot of letting go, lately.........and it's not easy. 
Red_Dragon
y ddraig goch ddyry gychwyn
Red_Dragon Avatar

Location: Redneck Nation


Posted: Apr 4, 2014 - 7:27am

 Alexandra wrote:
I don't think my mom will last long in her new place. It was just too late in her life to introduce a change that big—her home environment was much healthier without night noises waking her up, other sick people around, and a lot more walking for her tired lungs. She might have her good days, but overall.......I think it's going to diminish her strength, both physically and emotionally.
 
 
 
It was a gut feeling all along, that she'd go downhill if we moved her. but I tried to be positive about it. 
 
 
    
And there's not a Got damn thing I can do about it.
 
 
 
 

 
{#Meditate}
meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Gemini


Posted: Apr 4, 2014 - 7:23am

 Alexandra wrote:
I don't think my mom will last long in her new place. It was just too late in her life to introduce a change that big—her home environment was much healthier without night noises waking her up, other sick people around, and a lot more walking for her tired lungs. She might have her good days, but overall.......I think it's going to diminish her strength, both physically and emotionally.
 
 
 
It was a gut feeling all along, that she'd go downhill if we moved her. but I tried to be positive about it. 
 
 
    
And there's not a Got damn thing I can do about it.
 
 
 
 

 


Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Apr 4, 2014 - 7:18am

I don't think my mom will last long in her new place. It was just too late in her life to introduce a change that big—her home environment was much healthier without night noises waking her up, other sick people around, and a lot more walking for her tired lungs. She might have her good days, but overall.......I think it's going to diminish her strength, both physically and emotionally.
 
 
 
It was a gut feeling all along, that she'd go downhill if we moved her. but I tried to be positive about it. 
 
 
    
And there's not a Got damn thing I can do about it.
 
 
 
 


MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
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Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Mar 22, 2014 - 10:15am

 Alexandra wrote:
Thank goodness for iPhones and Skype. I just got to "be" at my mom's apartment blessing with the rest of my family there.

 
{#Clap}
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Mar 22, 2014 - 10:05am

Thank goodness for iPhones and Skype. I just got to "be" at my mom's apartment blessing with the rest of my family there.
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Mar 22, 2014 - 9:21am

 Coaxial wrote:

I can sure understand your feelings...I felt much the same when my aunt sold my Grandparents place a few years back then I realized all the memories of Chinaberry fights and chasing chickens and building forts will still live on so the physical location kind of becomes superfluous. {#Hug}

 
 
 islander wrote:

I went through this with my grandmothers place. It took me a while to even really put my finger on why it bothered me so much. But that house had so many great memories and was such a central point for our family, it was a huge impact on all of my cousins as well. We've never quite replaced it, but we do gather in new spots now and have come to realize that although the place was definitely, it was the people that made it so. 

  
 
All good points, yes.
 
 
Gatherings, anywhere, will be a very precious thing....as the family is getting more and more fractured by geography and busy lives.
 
 
I have these daydreams of finally having my big dream home with a Beloved...hardwood floors and deck with a mountain view...where they can all come one day for a big-ass family reunion. And anyone who can't afford to fly out—their ticket will be on me. It's a nice dream. I would love to be the host.

 
EDIT: Thanks, Judi!
Coaxial
SHINE ON
Coaxial Avatar

Location: 543 miles west of Paradis,1491 miles east of Paradise
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Mar 22, 2014 - 9:14am

 islander wrote:

I went through this with my grandmothers place. It took me a while to even really put my finger on why it bothered me so much. But that house had so many great memories and was such a central point for our family, it was a huge impact on all of my cousins as well. We've never quite replaced it, but we do gather in new spots now and have come to realize that although the place was definitely, it was the people that made it so. 

 
I think I may have sort of said the same before reading this.{#Good-vibes}


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