[ ]      [ ]   [ ]

Radio Paradise Comments - lily34 - Apr 24, 2017 - 8:00am
 
Words that should be put on the substitutes bench for a year - Proclivities - Apr 24, 2017 - 7:50am
 
Health Care - miamizsun - Apr 24, 2017 - 7:42am
 
Poetry Forum - Antigone - Apr 24, 2017 - 7:19am
 
The Dragons' Roost - miamizsun - Apr 24, 2017 - 6:49am
 
Name My Band - lily34 - Apr 24, 2017 - 6:47am
 
What Makes You Laugh? - lily34 - Apr 24, 2017 - 6:44am
 
What Are You Grateful For? - lily34 - Apr 24, 2017 - 6:43am
 
Talk Behind Their Backs Forum - ScottFromWyoming - Apr 23, 2017 - 9:18pm
 
Baseball, anyone? - kurtster - Apr 23, 2017 - 7:15pm
 
What Did You Do Today? - water - Apr 23, 2017 - 7:13pm
 
What Are You Going To Do Today? - Coaxial - Apr 23, 2017 - 6:07pm
 
Back to the 00's - rhahl - Apr 23, 2017 - 6:01pm
 
Vinyl Only Spin List - kurtster - Apr 23, 2017 - 5:34pm
 
Things You Thought Today - Alexandra - Apr 23, 2017 - 4:53pm
 
260,000 Posts in one thread? - Lazy8 - Apr 23, 2017 - 4:37pm
 
Regarding dogs - Antigone - Apr 23, 2017 - 4:27pm
 
Photos you haven't taken of yourself - Antigone - Apr 23, 2017 - 3:07pm
 
Having PSD problems? - Red_Dragon - Apr 23, 2017 - 12:46pm
 
how do you feel right now? - SeriousLee - Apr 23, 2017 - 12:33pm
 
NEED A COMPUTER GEEK! - kurtster - Apr 23, 2017 - 12:07pm
 
caching in iphone/ipad app - gtufano - Apr 23, 2017 - 11:03am
 
Positive Thoughts and Prayer Requests - kurtster - Apr 23, 2017 - 9:05am
 
Country Up The Bumpkin - oldviolin - Apr 23, 2017 - 8:17am
 
Bug Reports & Feature Requests - BillG - Apr 23, 2017 - 7:56am
 
HALF A WORLD - Red_Dragon - Apr 23, 2017 - 7:34am
 
You're Welcome, OV - oldviolin - Apr 23, 2017 - 7:30am
 
Celebrity Deaths - SeriousLee - Apr 23, 2017 - 7:27am
 
What are you listening to now? - SeriousLee - Apr 23, 2017 - 7:22am
 
Marijuana: Baked News. - Red_Dragon - Apr 23, 2017 - 5:50am
 
Live Music - rhahl - Apr 22, 2017 - 4:18pm
 
Gotta Get Your Drink On - SeriousLee - Apr 22, 2017 - 2:46pm
 
Beer - SeriousLee - Apr 22, 2017 - 11:41am
 
Itunes music connection? - FrankDebbieCote - Apr 22, 2017 - 8:43am
 
All Dogs Go To Heaven - Dog Pix - oldviolin - Apr 22, 2017 - 7:43am
 
Lyrics That Remind You of Someone - oldviolin - Apr 22, 2017 - 7:38am
 
RPeep News You Should Know - miamizsun - Apr 22, 2017 - 7:25am
 
Counting with Pictures - Proclivities - Apr 22, 2017 - 7:24am
 
What Did You See Today? - haresfur - Apr 22, 2017 - 7:02am
 
Signs of Spring - Skydog - Apr 22, 2017 - 5:39am
 
RP app - info without playing stream - BillG - Apr 22, 2017 - 4:54am
 
Photography Forum - Your Own Photos; Please Limit to 510 ... - fractalv - Apr 21, 2017 - 7:07pm
 
High(er) Fidelity for RP - kurtster - Apr 21, 2017 - 5:31pm
 
Agricultural subsidies -- thoughts - westslope - Apr 21, 2017 - 2:10pm
 
What are you doing RIGHT NOW? - Antigone - Apr 21, 2017 - 2:02pm
 
Best Song Comments. - Proclivities - Apr 21, 2017 - 1:38pm
 
Testing your Metal? - SeriousLee - Apr 21, 2017 - 12:34pm
 
Waste Time At Work - Proclivities - Apr 21, 2017 - 9:20am
 
Graphs, Charts & Maps - Proclivities - Apr 21, 2017 - 8:56am
 
Celebrity Face Recognition - ptooey - Apr 21, 2017 - 8:11am
 
Today in History - Red_Dragon - Apr 21, 2017 - 6:22am
 
Mixtape Culture Club - ColdMiser - Apr 21, 2017 - 3:20am
 
RightWingNutZ - kcar - Apr 21, 2017 - 1:14am
 
Trump - ScottFromWyoming - Apr 20, 2017 - 10:35pm
 
Hillary Clinton - Lazy8 - Apr 20, 2017 - 3:42pm
 
OUR CATS!! - miamizsun - Apr 20, 2017 - 12:20pm
 
Fox Spews - ScottFromWyoming - Apr 20, 2017 - 11:12am
 
What's on YOUR PSD right now ? - Proclivities - Apr 20, 2017 - 11:07am
 
Silly Celebrity News & Non-events - Proclivities - Apr 20, 2017 - 10:20am
 
Make Lily34 Laugh - lily34 - Apr 20, 2017 - 10:17am
 
Help identifying an album... - Proclivities - Apr 20, 2017 - 9:42am
 
::odd but intriguing:: - Faithful_Fool - Apr 20, 2017 - 8:19am
 
Environment - islander - Apr 20, 2017 - 8:16am
 
• • • BRING OUT YOUR DEAD • • •  - oldviolin - Apr 20, 2017 - 7:36am
 
Derplahoma Questions and Points of Interest - Red_Dragon - Apr 20, 2017 - 6:45am
 
Strips, cartoons, illustrations - Antigone - Apr 20, 2017 - 6:24am
 
Blogs you want to share - Red_Dragon - Apr 20, 2017 - 5:00am
 
Show us your NEW _______________!!!! - KurtfromLaQuinta - Apr 19, 2017 - 9:38pm
 
Great Old Songs You Rarely Hear Anymore - KurtfromLaQuinta - Apr 19, 2017 - 9:35pm
 
Strange & Cool Music - miamizsun - Apr 19, 2017 - 7:24pm
 
Geeky Jokes - haresfur - Apr 19, 2017 - 5:16pm
 
Earworm - Proclivities - Apr 19, 2017 - 12:35pm
 
honk if you think manbird and OV are one and the same ent... - oldviolin - Apr 19, 2017 - 9:39am
 
It seemed like a good idea at the time - Red_Dragon - Apr 19, 2017 - 9:13am
 
The War On Drugs = Fail - Red_Dragon - Apr 19, 2017 - 8:56am
 
Index » Radio Paradise/General » General Discussion » Caretakers Of Our Parents Page: 1, 2, 3 ... 51, 52, 53  Next
Post to this Topic
ScottFromWyoming
I eat pints
ScottFromWyoming Avatar

Location: Powell
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Pisces
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: Jan 6, 2017 - 8:09am

 marko86 wrote:
I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness

 
100% normal. With long-term illness, especially, the sadness is long since over and done with. In my case, it was small amounts of grief every day for a few years until at the end there was none left... it was impossible to even fake it. But the end does bring relief, for everyone. Relief for the end of her suffering. Relief that my Dad can get on with his grieving (he never allowed the possibility that she wouldn't survive to enter his world) and stop worrying 24/7. And relief for everyone else too, from whatever amount of stress and worry they were carrying. 
miamizsun

miamizsun Avatar

Location: (3261.3 Miles SE of RP)
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 6, 2017 - 7:00am

 marko86 wrote:
Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 
sorry for your loss

try and organize family vacations or reunions

make it as easy as possible

peace
lily34
i need a bogle for my glotch.
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Jan 6, 2017 - 6:54am

 marko86 wrote:
Thanks for all the kind comments.

 

oldviolin
ab origine
oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: Jan 6, 2017 - 6:07am

 marko86 wrote:
Thanks for all the kind comments.

 

marko86

marko86 Avatar

Location: North TX
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Taurus
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 6, 2017 - 5:36am

Thanks for all the kind comments.
kurtster
behind the kurtain
kurtster Avatar

Location: drifting
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Jan 5, 2017 - 4:58pm

 marko86 wrote:
Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 
My condolences.  Peace is the goal.  No rules for what comes next.  Memories are now the eternal life.

{#Meditate} 
FourFortyEight

FourFortyEight Avatar

Location: The Dirty South
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Chinese Yr: Dog


Posted: Jan 5, 2017 - 4:56pm

 marko86 wrote:
Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 
My condolences.  You have a road ahead of you.  I felt the same way the night my mother passed.  The stages are confusing and aggravating.  
Welly
Analog girl in a digital world
Welly Avatar

Location: Lotusland
Gender: Female


Posted: Jan 5, 2017 - 1:15pm

 Hi marko - I had the same feelings a few months ago when my mother passed. Don't worry about how you 'think you should' feel. We feel how we feel. It's pretty complicated but it's all good.
The odd thing for me is how much more often I find my mother in my thoughts now, more than she ever was when she was alive, and we were close, talked a lot. It's very weird.


marko86 wrote:
Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 


Alexandra
Learning to relax with groundlessness
Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 5, 2017 - 10:14am

 marko86 wrote:
Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 
 

It's probably a little of both. It's perfectly natural to be relieved that our dearest loved ones aren't suffering any longer, or even languishing in a quality of life that isn't optimal. And of course, like any loss, grief comes in waves.

 How touching that she got to have her loving son with her when she passed. I hope I get to do the same for my mom (although I suspect I will get "the call" one day instead). I too wonder if our family will start to drift apart a little, since we won't have a common thing to keep one another posted about.

 

My heart goes out to you, Marko....and all your family. May your mother rest in eternal peace.


olivertwist

olivertwist Avatar

Location: Atlanta GA
Gender: Male


Posted: Jan 5, 2017 - 9:07am

 marko86 wrote:
Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 
{#Meditate} Sincere condolences. When my mom passed away, it didn't really hit me until I visited my parents' house a few days later and saw assorted personal items like her coffee cup & pieces of paper on which she wrote and doodled while playing her daily word games. Since then (two years ago now), grief still hits me unexpectedly at times. As Antigone said, grief is sneaky. Best wishes.
Antigone

Antigone Avatar

Location: A house, in a Virginian Valley
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Aquarius
Chinese Yr: Rat


Posted: Jan 5, 2017 - 7:53am

 marko86 wrote:
Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 
I'm so sorry for your loss. Do take care of yourself. Grief is a sneaky bastard.


Coaxial
I see what you did there.
Coaxial Avatar

Location: 543 miles west of Paradis,1491 miles east of Paradise
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Jan 5, 2017 - 7:12am

 marko86 wrote:
Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 
So sorry for your loss...My condolences.{#Meditate}
lily34
i need a bogle for my glotch.
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Jan 5, 2017 - 6:59am

 marko86 wrote:
Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.

 
i'm sorry. my mom - who was in the medical profession - says sometimes it takes 6 weeks to really hit you. be good to you.
marko86

marko86 Avatar

Location: North TX
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Taurus
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jan 5, 2017 - 6:52am

Finally got to the end on Monday. Though my mother had declined in appetite and awareness significantly in the weeks leading up to it, it was the start of the morphine under the tongue that she became unresponsive. I feel good that I spent a lot of good quality time with her over the last 12+ months, spending 3 days every 3-4 weeks, care taking. I don't know if its normal, but my sense of relief out weighed my sense of sadness, or perhaps it hasn't all hit me yet. I saw it through to the end, to the point I was the last thing she saw when she went. I think its gonna be ok, though I do sense the family will seriously drift apart now.
Antigone

Antigone Avatar

Location: A house, in a Virginian Valley
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Aquarius
Chinese Yr: Rat


Posted: Oct 1, 2016 - 5:14pm

 FourFortyEight wrote:
Man.  I cried hard tonight.  I don't remember crying that hard since I was a child.  After, it felt like a significant amount of weight was shed.  I think I'm in a stage where I accept this pain and it's not manifesting it's self as negativity.  It feels like growth.  I'm thankful for it.  I have a major appreciation of my life tonight.  

Hope you're all well.  Namaste.

 
Peace.
oldviolin
ab origine
oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: Oct 1, 2016 - 5:11pm

 FourFortyEight wrote:
Man.  I cried hard tonight.  I don't remember crying that hard since I was a child.  After, it felt like a significant amount of weight was shed.  I think I'm in a stage where I accept this pain and it's not manifesting it's self as negativity.  It feels like growth.  I'm thankful for it.  I have a major appreciation of my life tonight.  

Hope you're all well.  Namaste.
 
Courage.
Coaxial
I see what you did there.
Coaxial Avatar

Location: 543 miles west of Paradis,1491 miles east of Paradise
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Sep 30, 2016 - 7:33pm

 FourFortyEight wrote:
Man.  I cried hard tonight.  I don't remember crying that hard since I was a child.  After, it felt like a significant amount of weight was shed.  I think I'm in a stage where I accept this pain and it's not manifesting it's self as negativity.  It feels like growth.  I'm thankful for it.  I have a major appreciation of my life tonight.  

Hope you're all well.  Namaste.

 
Washing your eyeballs from the inside out sometimes is good for the soul...Hang in there.{#Meditate}
FourFortyEight

FourFortyEight Avatar

Location: The Dirty South
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Chinese Yr: Dog


Posted: Sep 30, 2016 - 7:14pm

Man.  I cried hard tonight.  I don't remember crying that hard since I was a child.  After, it felt like a significant amount of weight was shed.  I think I'm in a stage where I accept this pain and it's not manifesting it's self as negativity.  It feels like growth.  I'm thankful for it.  I have a major appreciation of my life tonight.  

Hope you're all well.  Namaste.


FourFortyEight

FourFortyEight Avatar

Location: The Dirty South
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Chinese Yr: Dog


Posted: Sep 27, 2016 - 4:46pm

 Alexandra wrote:

 

Always.

 

And if anyone is all about comfort and NOT suffering, it's Hospice....I'm surprised they don't stay engaged. A friend of mine in the Pharm business who dealt with lots of Hospice reps say it's a huge business these days (now that it's subsidized), even when people aren't near death.



 
I can see that being true.  Mom was in hospice for less than six hours before she passed.  I'm quite sure it's that under-tongue dose of morphine that "took the edge off".  Either way, by that time, and under the circumstances in the end, it was a blessing for mom and I both.  

... if that's what happened. No way to know at this point.


Alexandra
Learning to relax with groundlessness
Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Sep 27, 2016 - 12:38pm

 FourFortyEight wrote:

I certainly do feel for you in that situation. It gets to a point where, exactly as you said, the lack of quality of life and suffering becomes the major concern.

 
 

Always.

 

And if anyone is all about comfort and NOT suffering, it's Hospice....I'm surprised they don't stay engaged. A friend of mine in the Pharm business who dealt with lots of Hospice reps say it's a huge business these days (now that it's subsidized), even when people aren't near death.


Page: 1, 2, 3 ... 51, 52, 53  Next