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Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 6:23pm

 katzendogs wrote:

there should be a "geezer dip" somewhere. hoist him and his chair all up in there!

 
 

 
 
It could be nice and hot, like a spa, and make them feel good in the process.
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 6:09pm

 katzendogs wrote:

there should be a "geezer dip" somewhere. hoist him and his chair all up in there!

 
{#Lol}
katzendogs

katzendogs Avatar

Location: Pasadena, Texas
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Aquarius
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 3:50pm

 MsJudi wrote:

I'm taking all suggestions! {#Lol}

 
there should be a "geezer dip" somewhere. hoist him and his chair all up in there!
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 3:45pm

 bokey wrote:

So I guess it woulda been OK to post the croquet mallet idea I had earlier?{#Shifty}

 
I'm taking all suggestions! {#Lol}
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 3:45pm

 katzendogs wrote:

I have no words for this situation other than to take him outside and hosing him down. How old is he? Can they withhold his food or perhaps taze him! {#Shifty}  sorry.

 
Give me the tazer gun, I'll do it myself! He's 82.
bokey
Bokey
bokey Avatar

Location: Natsville
Gender: Male


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 3:42pm

 katzendogs wrote:

I have no words for this situation other than to take him outside and hosing him down. How old is he? Can they withhold his food or perhaps taze him! {#Shifty}  sorry.

 
So I guess it woulda been OK to post the croquet mallet idea I had earlier?{#Shifty}
katzendogs

katzendogs Avatar

Location: Pasadena, Texas
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Aquarius
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 3:39pm

 MsJudi wrote:

It's not something that can be done to him on a regular basis. And I'm beyond caring about it, anymore. I know that sounds harsh, but I've been fighting with him for three years about his terrible hygiene and dammit, I'm not his mother- if he wants to reek to high heavens, he's 7 times 3, he can make that choice.

 
I have no words for this situation other than to take him outside and hosing him down. How old is he? Can they withhold his food or perhaps taze him! {#Shifty}  sorry.
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 2:43pm

 meower wrote:


this is a good place to express resentment. It's a good place over all. I love you J.

 
I love you too, lady. {#Kiss}
meower

meower Avatar

Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Gemini


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 2:19pm

 MsJudi wrote:

{#Kiss}

 

this is a good place to express resentment. It's a good place over all. I love you J.
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 1:59pm

 lily34 wrote:

you've been doing great for 3 long years at your own expense through it. it's ok

 
{#Kiss}
lily34
STFU
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 12:53pm

 MsJudi wrote:

I know there's gonna be some guilt associated with all of this when he's gone. What I hope is that I remember then what I recognize now: that I've done my best for three long years, when no one else in his life was willing to step up. He doesn't want my help, doesn't think he needs it (until it's time for a meal... or his pills... or a doctor's visit... or his taxes need to be done... or his bills need to be paid) and he certainly doesn't want it from me, whom he considers to be a mouthy housewife with no intrinsic value.

{#Hug}

 
you've been doing great for 3 long years at your own expense through it. it's ok
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 12:35pm

 lily34 wrote:
 MsJudi wrote:
{#Group-hug}

I want to be in one of those relationships with my parent that I keep seeing and reading about, the one where the kids are grateful to their parent, want more than anything to take care of them, love and respect them for the wonderful life their parent gave them and the sacrifices their parent made for them. But I never had any of that with my dad. He never made any sacrifices for us. Seriously, not once. He never sacrificed his time, never sacrificed his love, never sacrificed a dime of his earnings (my mother paid for everything in our household while Dad blew his earnings on gambling and booze.) He made sure everyone in the house knew that he worked the night shift because he couldn't stand being with his family in the evenings. He made sure to remind me repeatedly after my mother left him when I was 13 that she had stopped loving him the day I was born. He made a point of ignoring my because I was a girl, and as such, worth less than nothing. He made a point of telling me that he wouldn't ever take me on any trips with him because I would, "Make everyone in the car miserable." He spent my adult life not caring what I was doing, not asking me a single question about myself, my life, my career, my loves. He didn't even know I was a professional artist until 3 years ago when his caretaker asked me what I did for a living. I'd told him a million times, had tried to talk to him about it, how it enriched my life, how happy it made me, but evidently he was ignoring even that. He's told me many times since then that what I do isn't a job, that I don't actually work, and when shown my work, his response is a sarcastic, eye-rolling, "Wow, that sure is abstract." Once last year, when we were having dinner at our house, Greg said to him, "Dad, you never mention Judi's work, even though it's hanging on the walls right now." Dad, in a thoroughly disgusted voice, said, "What the hell should I say? WOW! AMAZING! INCREDIBLE!" Greg almost punched him out.

I recognize that it's my own expectations that keep letting me down, that expecting anything from my father is a fools' errand, but somehow I'm still always surprised when he chooses ugliness, suspicion, and disinterest over his own daughter. I'm the one left feeling guilty when I refuse to see him, even though I know perfectly well that he's making the decision for both of us.

Anyway, that's enough bitching and wallowing for one day. It's a beautiful day and I'm going to get outside and put all that vitamin D to good use.

my mom's dad was a jerk very much like yours.
she let go of worrying about their relationship after one too many of his episodes of disrespect. it lightened her load. but, when he died, she did have some feelings of guilt, but that didn't last long. it takes two to love and have a relationship, you know?
anyway, i'm so sorry, judi

 
I know there's gonna be some guilt associated with all of this when he's gone. What I hope is that I remember then what I recognize now: that I've done my best for three long years, when no one else in his life was willing to step up. He doesn't want my help, doesn't think he needs it (until it's time for a meal... or his pills... or a doctor's visit... or his taxes need to be done... or his bills need to be paid) and he certainly doesn't want it from me, whom he considers to be a mouthy housewife with no intrinsic value.

{#Hug}
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 12:31pm

 bokey wrote:

 If I was in that situation and had medical power of attorney,I'd talk to his doctor about having him sedated and sponge bathed.

 
It's not something that can be done to him on a regular basis. And I'm beyond caring about it, anymore. I know that sounds harsh, but I've been fighting with him for three years about his terrible hygiene and dammit, I'm not his mother- if he wants to reek to high heavens, he's 7 times 3, he can make that choice.
lily34
STFU
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 10:51am

 MsJudi wrote:
{#Group-hug}

I want to be in one of those relationships with my parent that I keep seeing and reading about, the one where the kids are grateful to their parent, want more than anything to take care of them, love and respect them for the wonderful life their parent gave them and the sacrifices their parent made for them. But I never had any of that with my dad. He never made any sacrifices for us. Seriously, not once. He never sacrificed his time, never sacrificed his love, never sacrificed a dime of his earnings (my mother paid for everything in our household while Dad blew his earnings on gambling and booze.) He made sure everyone in the house knew that he worked the night shift because he couldn't stand being with his family in the evenings. He made sure to remind me repeatedly after my mother left him when I was 13 that she had stopped loving him the day I was born. He made a point of ignoring my because I was a girl, and as such, worth less than nothing. He made a point of telling me that he wouldn't ever take me on any trips with him because I would, "Make everyone in the car miserable." He spent my adult life not caring what I was doing, not asking me a single question about myself, my life, my career, my loves. He didn't even know I was a professional artist until 3 years ago when his caretaker asked me what I did for a living. I'd told him a million times, had tried to talk to him about it, how it enriched my life, how happy it made me, but evidently he was ignoring even that. He's told me many times since then that what I do isn't a job, that I don't actually work, and when shown my work, his response is a sarcastic, eye-rolling, "Wow, that sure is abstract." Once last year, when we were having dinner at our house, Greg said to him, "Dad, you never mention Judi's work, even though it's hanging on the walls right now." Dad, in a thoroughly disgusted voice, said, "What the hell should I say? WOW! AMAZING! INCREDIBLE!" Greg almost punched him out.

I recognize that it's my own expectations that keep letting me down, that expecting anything from my father is a fools' errand, but somehow I'm still always surprised when he chooses ugliness, suspicion, and disinterest over his own daughter. I'm the one left feeling guilty when I refuse to see him, even though I know perfectly well that he's making the decision for both of us.

Anyway, that's enough bitching and wallowing for one day. It's a beautiful day and I'm going to get outside and put all that vitamin D to good use.

my mom's dad was a jerk very much like yours.
she let go of worrying about their relationship after one too many of his episodes of disrespect. it lightened her load. but, when he died, she did have some feelings of guilt, but that didn't last long. it takes two to love and have a relationship, you know?
anyway, i'm so sorry, judi


bokey
Bokey
bokey Avatar

Location: Natsville
Gender: Male


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 10:51am

 MsJudi wrote:


My father has decided that he'd rather stay filthy than see me again. He is refusing to bathe or be bathed, despite knowing full well that I won't come visit him when he smells so bad. He's made his choice.

FML. I should have left the nasty old bastard in PA like he wanted me to, locked him into the nursing home he wanted to go to and forgotten about him.

THANKS, OBAMA!

 
 If I was in that situation and had medical power of attorney,I'd talk to his doctor about having him sedated and sponge bathed.
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 10:40am

{#Group-hug}

I want to be in one of those relationships with my parent that I keep seeing and reading about, the one where the kids are grateful to their parent, want more than anything to take care of them, love and respect them for the wonderful life their parent gave them and the sacrifices their parent made for them. But I never had any of that with my dad. He never made any sacrifices for us. Seriously, not once. He never sacrificed his time, never sacrificed his love, never sacrificed a dime of his earnings (my mother paid for everything in our household while Dad blew his earnings on gambling and booze.) He made sure everyone in the house knew that he worked the night shift because he couldn't stand being with his family in the evenings. He made sure to remind me repeatedly after my mother left him when I was 13 that she had stopped loving him the day I was born. He made a point of ignoring my because I was a girl, and as such, worth less than nothing. He made a point of telling me that he wouldn't ever take me on any trips with him because I would, "Make everyone in the car miserable." He spent my adult life not caring what I was doing, not asking me a single question about myself, my life, my career, my loves. He didn't even know I was a professional artist until 3 years ago when his caretaker asked me what I did for a living. I'd told him a million times, had tried to talk to him about it, how it enriched my life, how happy it made me, but evidently he was ignoring even that. He's told me many times since then that what I do isn't a job, that I don't actually work, and when shown my work, his response is a sarcastic, eye-rolling, "Wow, that sure is abstract." Once last year, when we were having dinner at our house, Greg said to him, "Dad, you never mention Judi's work, even though it's hanging on the walls right now." Dad, in a thoroughly disgusted voice, said, "What the hell should I say? WOW! AMAZING! INCREDIBLE!" Greg almost punched him out.

I recognize that it's my own expectations that keep letting me down, that expecting anything from my father is a fools' errand, but somehow I'm still always surprised when he chooses ugliness, suspicion, and disinterest over his own daughter. I'm the one left feeling guilty when I refuse to see him, even though I know perfectly well that he's making the decision for both of us.

Anyway, that's enough bitching and wallowing for one day. It's a beautiful day and I'm going to get outside and put all that vitamin D to good use.
Coaxial
SHINE ON
Coaxial Avatar

Location: 543 miles west of Paradis,1491 miles east of Paradise
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 9:17am

 MsJudi wrote:


My father has decided that he'd rather stay filthy than see me again. He is refusing to bathe or be bathed, despite knowing full well that I won't come visit him when he smells so bad. He's made his choice.

FML. I should have left the nasty old bastard in PA like he wanted me to, locked him into the nursing home he wanted to go to and forgotten about him.

THANKS, OBAMA!

 
Sorry.{#Meditate}
lily34
STFU
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 8:57am

 MsJudi wrote:


My father has decided that he'd rather stay filthy than see me again. He is refusing to bathe or be bathed, despite knowing full well that I won't come visit him when he smells so bad. He's made his choice.

FML. I should have left the nasty old bastard in PA like he wanted me to, locked him into the nursing home he wanted to go to and forgotten about him.

THANKS, OBAMA!

 


MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: Apr 23, 2014 - 8:51am



My father has decided that he'd rather stay filthy than see me again. He is refusing to bathe or be bathed, despite knowing full well that I won't come visit him when he smells so bad. He's made his choice.

FML. I should have left the nasty old bastard in PA like he wanted me to, locked him into the nursing home he wanted to go to and forgotten about him.

THANKS, OBAMA!


Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Apr 22, 2014 - 6:32pm

 BlueHeronDruid wrote:

I'm sure they've dealt with families like yours before.

 
 
 
 
 
We are a force to be reckoned with. {#Group-hug} A sister running the cable stations from Hawaii, sisters coming up from the tri-state area on a regular basis - spending the night and stocking Mom's mini-fridge and playing the grand piano in the lobby and asking that they bring hot water and tea bags (along with coffee caraffes for those who drink TEA instead - local sibs sneaking her off to Young's Dairy for an ice cream Sundae.....they need to put a revolving door up.


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