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Index » Radio Paradise/General » General Discussion » Caretakers Of Our Parents Page: 1, 2, 3 ... 49, 50, 51  Next
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Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jun 25, 2016 - 8:26am

 FourFortyEight wrote:
........

Everything in the world to be thankful for. 

 
 
Those of us who've been there (or not) feel for you and understand. Glad you shared all this here. Hoping for everyone's highest good there.....
BlueHeronDruid

BlueHeronDruid Avatar



Posted: Jun 25, 2016 - 12:47am

 FourFortyEight wrote:
Mom's got Cushing's Syndrome again at 80.  The meds that worked 6 years ago don't seem to be grabbing hold.  We're going to a specialist next week.  If he doesn't find an adenoma somewhere... something we can remove to fix this mess or if her body doesn't respond to the treatment, we're in trouble.  Her potassium levels are dropping even with increased dosage... if the body can't metabolize it, it's useless.  She's in a nursing home for rehab and recovery... after a week in the hospital.  Throw a dash of pneumonia on top of that.  She's been sick for 5 months.

I don't know that she'd survive a surgery if they found a tumor, let alone putting her under at her age.  Her mind is weak.  She has panic attacks and psychosis at times in the mornings.  I'm awakened to a frightened phone call before I can even wake up and get through my own morning panic attack.  I'm in charge and I'm trying desperately not to miss something, not fuck up and fail to think of the right questions, and pay enough attention to my job (by remote from the nursing home at times) so that my coworkers that are "keeping us in their prayers" aren't sure whether or not I'm milking the FMLA and secretly resent for being out so much (you'd be surprised at what they said about the last guy who was out for 3 weeks when his mother succumbed to cancer).  

I shut down social media a few weeks ago and the number of people I have to vent to I can count on one hand.  I'm grateful, but the more opinions that sprout up just make it worse sometimes.  I just feel like I'm wearing them out.  I try to keep most of it to myself. 

Work has been cool... FMLA... they're all about taking care of family and I have hundreds of hours available.  I hope I won't need them.  I hope she rebounds like she did.  I hope she comes home and gripes at me while throwing a kick-ass country pot roast into the oven a few more times.  If that happens again, I'll never take it for granted again, nor mistake it for anything other than what it is... 

Everything in the world to be thankful for. 

 
 A lot on your plate. Hang tough! I felt that way (desperate to not miss anything, not fuck up) and it is normal. I know it doesn't feel like it, but it is. Maybe others can back me up.


FourFortyEight

FourFortyEight Avatar

Location: The Dirty South
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Chinese Yr: Dog


Posted: Jun 24, 2016 - 8:40pm

Mom's got Cushing's Syndrome again at 80.  The meds that worked 6 years ago don't seem to be grabbing hold.  We're going to a specialist next week.  If he doesn't find an adenoma somewhere... something we can remove to fix this mess or if her body doesn't respond to the treatment, we're in trouble.  Her potassium levels are dropping even with increased dosage... if the body can't metabolize it, it's useless.  She's in a nursing home for rehab and recovery... after a week in the hospital.  Throw a dash of pneumonia on top of that.  She's been sick for 5 months.

I don't know that she'd survive a surgery if they found a tumor, let alone putting her under at her age.  Her mind is weak.  She has panic attacks and psychosis at times in the mornings.  I'm awakened to a frightened phone call before I can even wake up and get through my own morning panic attack.  I'm in charge and I'm trying desperately not to miss something, not fuck up and fail to think of the right questions, and pay enough attention to my job (by remote from the nursing home at times) so that my coworkers that are "keeping us in their prayers" aren't sure whether or not I'm milking the FMLA and secretly resent for being out so much (you'd be surprised at what they said about the last guy who was out for 3 weeks when his mother succumbed to cancer).  

I shut down social media a few weeks ago and the number of people I have to vent to I can count on one hand.  I'm grateful, but the more opinions that sprout up just make it worse sometimes.  I just feel like I'm wearing them out.  I try to keep most of it to myself. 

Work has been cool... FMLA... they're all about taking care of family and I have hundreds of hours available.  I hope I won't need them.  I hope she rebounds like she did.  I hope she comes home and gripes at me while throwing a kick-ass country pot roast into the oven a few more times.  If that happens again, I'll never take it for granted again, nor mistake it for anything other than what it is... 

Everything in the world to be thankful for. 
FourFortyEight

FourFortyEight Avatar

Location: The Dirty South
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Chinese Yr: Dog


Posted: Jun 24, 2016 - 8:25pm

 marko86 wrote:
Spent the last 5 days in Missouri with my mother. The decline has been rapid. I had been there 3 weeks prior and she was at least able to stand with help. Now, no more, complete dead weight. We moved the hospital bed to the living room and met with Hospice, which will be a great help as she qualifies as stage 7 dementia. Later that afternoon, when she wanted to lay down, I put her in that bed where I knew she would remain. That has a hard moment, also knowing I could not really explain it to her. I just want the suffering to be done, and I know we are closer to that now.


 
I'm so sorry.
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jun 3, 2016 - 9:06am

 marko86 wrote:
Spent the last 5 days in Missouri with my mother. The decline has been rapid. I had been there 3 weeks prior and she was at least able to stand with help. Now, no more, complete dead weight. We moved the hospital bed to the living room and met with Hospice, which will be a great help as she qualifies as stage 7 dementia. Later that afternoon, when she wanted to lay down, I put her in that bed where I knew she would remain. That was a hard moment, also knowing I could not really explain it to her. I just want the suffering to be done, and I know we are closer to that now.


 
 
My heart goes out to both of you.....  
lily34
i need a bogle for my glotch.
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Jun 3, 2016 - 8:48am

 marko86 wrote:
Spent the last 5 days in Missouri with my mother. The decline has been rapid. I had been there 3 weeks prior and she was at least able to stand with help. Now, no more, complete dead weight. We moved the hospital bed to the living room and met with Hospice, which will be a great help as she qualifies as stage 7 dementia. Later that afternoon, when she wanted to lay down, I put her in that bed where I knew she would remain. That has a hard moment, also knowing I could not really explain it to her. I just want the suffering to be done, and I know we are closer to that now.


 
oh, gosh.
so, so hard.
NoEnzLefttoSplit
Being Norwegian is over-rated.
NoEnzLefttoSplit Avatar

Gender: Male
Zodiac: Taurus
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: Jun 3, 2016 - 8:47am

 marko86 wrote:
Spent the last 5 days in Missouri with my mother. The decline has been rapid. I had been there 3 weeks prior and she was at least able to stand with help. Now, no more, complete dead weight. We moved the hospital bed to the living room and met with Hospice, which will be a great help as she qualifies as stage 7 dementia. Later that afternoon, when she wanted to lay down, I put her in that bed where I knew she would remain. That has a hard moment, also knowing I could not really explain it to her. I just want the suffering to be done, and I know we are closer to that now.


 
been there... our last meal together as a family was tough.. Me and my sister both knew the portent of it all and Mum just tucked in happy as larry.. tough times.  I remember the dead weight thing too. Trying to get her into the passenger seat of the car..   good thoughts your way..


oldviolin
ab origine
oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: Jun 3, 2016 - 8:44am

 marko86 wrote:
Spent the last 5 days in Missouri with my mother. The decline has been rapid. I had been there 3 weeks prior and she was at least able to stand with help. Now, no more, complete dead weight. We moved the hospital bed to the living room and met with Hospice, which will be a great help as she qualifies as stage 7 dementia. Later that afternoon, when she wanted to lay down, I put her in that bed where I knew she would remain. That has a hard moment, also knowing I could not really explain it to her. I just want the suffering to be done, and I know we are closer to that now.


 
{#Good-vibes}
marko86

marko86 Avatar

Location: North TX
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Taurus
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jun 3, 2016 - 8:34am

Spent the last 5 days in Missouri with my mother. The decline has been rapid. I had been there 3 weeks prior and she was at least able to stand with help. Now, no more, complete dead weight. We moved the hospital bed to the living room and met with Hospice, which will be a great help as she qualifies as stage 7 dementia. Later that afternoon, when she wanted to lay down, I put her in that bed where I knew she would remain. That has a hard moment, also knowing I could not really explain it to her. I just want the suffering to be done, and I know we are closer to that now.

helenofjoy
What Day Is This?
helenofjoy Avatar

Location: Lincoln, Nebraska
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Pig


Posted: Jun 2, 2016 - 8:14am

 Alexandra wrote:
My eldest sister (recently widowed) is flying over from her Hawaiian home today to go visit our mom for 2 weeks. This is monumental. We never thought she would visit mainland USA again due to her age and her reluctance to travel. We never thought she'd see Mom in person again.
 
She and another big sister are whisking Mom away (out of her facility) for a little respite at her home in N. Kentucky...where she will be attended to and pampered for a week or so.
 
This will be SO good for Mom. (And the Hawaiian sister)

 
I applaud your family! 
Coaxial
Me and Dead Steve
Coaxial Avatar

Location: 543 miles west of Paradis,1491 miles east of Paradise
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Dragon


Posted: Jun 1, 2016 - 5:28pm

 Alexandra wrote:
My eldest sister (recently widowed) is flying over from her Hawaiian home today to go visit our mom for 2 weeks. This is monumental. We never thought she would visit mainland USA again due to her age and her reluctance to travel. We never thought she'd see Mom in person again.
 
She and another big sister are whisking Mom away (out of her facility) for a little respite at her home in N. Kentucky...where she will be attended to and pampered for a week or so.
 
This will be SO good for Mom. (And the Hawaiian sister)

 
Excellent.{#Meditate}
olivertwist

olivertwist Avatar

Location: Atlanta GA
Gender: Male


Posted: Jun 1, 2016 - 12:09pm

 Alexandra wrote:
My eldest sister (recently widowed) is flying over from her Hawaiian home today to go visit our mom for 2 weeks. This is monumental. We never thought she would visit mainland USA again due to her age and her reluctance to travel. We never thought she'd see Mom in person again.
 
She and another big sister are whisking Mom away (out of her facility) for a little respite at her home in N. Kentucky...where she will be attended to and pampered for a week or so.
 
This will be SO good for Mom. (And the Hawaiian sister)

 
Wonderful {#Good-vibes}
Alexandra

Alexandra Avatar

Location: PNW
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Libra
Chinese Yr: Horse


Posted: Jun 1, 2016 - 6:12am

My eldest sister (recently widowed) is flying over from her Hawaiian home today to go visit our mom for 2 weeks. This is monumental. We never thought she would visit mainland USA again due to her age and her reluctance to travel. We never thought she'd see Mom in person again.
 
She and another big sister are whisking Mom away (out of her facility) for a little respite at her home in N. Kentucky...where she will be attended to and pampered for a week or so.
 
This will be SO good for Mom. (And the Hawaiian sister)
oldviolin
ab origine
oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: May 22, 2016 - 12:35pm

 MsJudi wrote:
Thanks, all. My mother finally got him to the hospital this morning, they're running tests and will keep him overnight. The weird thing is, they aren't looking for dementia or Alzheimer's. They're looking for a UTI or some other illness. This worries me, because in my experience, 2 things are true: the loved ones of the patient aren't willing to face the prospect of dementia, and therefore won't accurately report symptoms and timelines to doctors (or downplay their significance), and secondly, doctors and others who only see the person a few minutes at a time are skeptical that dementia is present because from moment to moment to moment, the person can answer questions, follow orders, etc; it's only over a matter of several hours to several days that the symptoms of dementia become glaringly obvious.

Anyway, he's seeing docs and having tests and at this point, that's a Good Thing.

 
{#Good-vibes}



islander
Dog is my copilot
islander Avatar

Location: Seattle
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Scorpio
Chinese Yr: Cock


Posted: May 22, 2016 - 9:42am

 MsJudi wrote:
Thanks, all. My mother finally got him to the hospital this morning, they're running tests and will keep him overnight. The weird thing is, they aren't looking for dementia or Alzheimer's. They're looking for a UTI or some other illness. This worries me, because in my experience, 2 things are true: the loved ones of the patient aren't willing to face the prospect of dementia, and therefore won't accurately report symptoms and timelines to doctors (or downplay their significance), and secondly, doctors and others who only see the person a few minutes at a time are skeptical that dementia is present because from moment to moment to moment, the person can answer questions, follow orders, etc; it's only over a matter of several hours to several days that the symptoms of dementia become glaringly obvious.

Anyway, he's seeing docs and having tests and at this point, that's a Good Thing.

 
Don't discount one for the other. My mom-in-law has some light dimentia/senility going on, but also gets occasional infections (UTI primarily, but others as well). We have learned that odd behavior is often a leading indicator of an infection coming on.

Every case is different, but there are a lot of complex interconnected things going on.  Docs and testing are a good start. Keeping good track of progress, symptoms, day to day events and happenings are important to see where the baseline is. 
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: May 22, 2016 - 9:33am

Thanks, all. My mother finally got him to the hospital this morning, they're running tests and will keep him overnight. The weird thing is, they aren't looking for dementia or Alzheimer's. They're looking for a UTI or some other illness. This worries me, because in my experience, 2 things are true: the loved ones of the patient aren't willing to face the prospect of dementia, and therefore won't accurately report symptoms and timelines to doctors (or downplay their significance), and secondly, doctors and others who only see the person a few minutes at a time are skeptical that dementia is present because from moment to moment to moment, the person can answer questions, follow orders, etc; it's only over a matter of several hours to several days that the symptoms of dementia become glaringly obvious.

Anyway, he's seeing docs and having tests and at this point, that's a Good Thing.
oldviolin
ab origine
oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: May 20, 2016 - 7:37am

If they're not willing participants it most definitely is hard.
BlueHeronDruid

BlueHeronDruid Avatar



Posted: May 19, 2016 - 9:12pm

 MsJudi wrote:
Here we go, again. My step father is losing his short-term memory, a sure sign of dementia, at- what my mother terms- "an alarming rate". We are less than a year and a half past this with my father, who died on January 1, 2015. We had hoped we had more time before the next one. And this is a surprise- we had really believed it would be my mother (still do) who will succumb to dementia, eventually. Complication: my step father is a Canadian, which could be good financially for his family if he has access to socialized long term care, but bad for us if my mother follows him to Canada (just about a mortal lock- if it was your spouse, wouldn't you?) and then falls victim to dementia, as well.

Sigh.

 
Don't worry about the future. Stay in the present - throw away all the crap you dealt with regarding your father - and breathe.

Talk to Alexandra about short-term memory loss. Her mother has been coping well - and lived in her own home for years, with help.

No panicking, okay?
bokey
Thank me for the sunshine bokey
bokey Avatar

Gender: Male


Posted: May 19, 2016 - 9:10pm

 MsJudi wrote:
Here we go, again. My step father is losing his short-term memory, a sure sign of dementia, at- what my mother terms- "an alarming rate". We are less than a year and a half past this with my father, who died on January 1, 2015. We had hoped we had more time before the next one. And this is a surprise- we had really believed it would be my mother (still do) who will succumb to dementia, eventually. Complication: my step father is a Canadian, which could be good financially for his family if he has access to socialized long term care, but bad for us if my mother follows him to Canada (just about a mortal lock- if it was your spouse, wouldn't you?) and then falls victim to dementia, as well.

Sigh.

 
I've been through it 3 times Hon,you can't try to outfigure the crazyness or,well,you know.{#Hug}
MsJudi
She knew it was time to exceed herself.
MsJudi Avatar

Location: Houston, TX
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rabbit


Posted: May 19, 2016 - 9:02pm

Here we go, again. My step father is losing his short-term memory, a sure sign of dementia, at- what my mother terms- "an alarming rate". We are less than a year and a half past this with my father, who died on January 1, 2015. We had hoped we had more time before the next one. And this is a surprise- we had really believed it would be my mother (still do) who will succumb to dementia, eventually. Complication: my step father is a Canadian, which could be good financially for his family if he has access to socialized long term care, but bad for us if my mother follows him to Canada (just about a mortal lock- if it was your spouse, wouldn't you?) and then falls victim to dementia, as well.

Sigh.


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