Last night, me on the couch while the rest of the house is sleeping:
Dinger: Hmm bugh gah mouuugh!
Dinger: HMM BUGH GAH MOUUUGH! MOUUUGH!
Me: I can't understand what you're saying. Is there something in your mouth?
Dinger: (drops mouse) I said, Hey, I caught a mouse!
Dinger: (picks up mouse again) Yowwowwmaugh
Me: Listen, I can't understand you.
Dinger: (drops mouse again) You heard me.
Me: Get out! Why do you do this?
Dinger: Mouse. Cat. Work it out for yourself.
Me: You brought a mouse into the house? You're supposed to keep them OUT.
Dinger: I thought you looked a mite peckish.
Me: I don't eat mice. You know that.
Dinger: Suit yourself. (reaches for mouse)
Me: Is that dead?
Dinger: You're into that weird sushi aren't you? The stuff that moves when you pour vinegar on it? Of course it's dead.
Me: Leave it. You don't kill things outside. You bring them in first.
Dinger: What makes you say a thing like that?
Me: You're my cat. I know you.
Dinger: Then you should know I only do this to feed you. You haven't brought in any kill in a week.
Me: My kill comes in a flat box that says PIZZA. Other people kill it for me and bring it to my house.
Dinger: That's ridiculous. You're not the king.
Me: Give me that mouse.
Dinger: Are you gonna eat it now?
Me: No. Where is it?
Dinger: Under the table. I was bringing it to your room.
Me: I don't want it.
Dinger: You said to give it to you.
Me: So I can throw it out.
Dinger: You don't appreciate me.
Me: Of course not.
You're fat, orange, and creep people out.
Dinger: You're just jealous because you're not orange.
Me: I'm putting this mouse in the trash. Outside.
Junebug: He brought you that and you're throwing it away.
Me: It was a nice gesture.
Junebug: Don't touch me.
Me: You're filthy. I don't want to touch you.
Junebug: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
Me: You look like a ball of dirt with eyes.
Junebug: My coat requires an elaborate maintenance routine. You wouldn't understand.
Me: You're learning how to catch mice, aren't you.
Junebug: Why should I? I have staff.
Me: I'm not catching you mice.
Junebug: Don't make me laugh.
Me: I'm not.
Junebug: The orange one and the one-eyed one seek my favor.
Me: What about Mack?
Junebug: He's my boyfriend.
Me: He also doesn't have stripes.
Dinger: Iwwa Wowwow spoaaaagh
Me: What now?
Me: Drop it!
? IF sparkle is good then why go get mice?
Dinger: she doesn't like sparkle.
Me: You are so sad.
Dinger: At least I'm orange.