Comedians Beg Trump to Reconsider

Posted: Jun 4, 2012 - 5:23am

hippiechick wrote:

I really wonder what this guy's end game is? I guess he just fancies himself as some kind of "macher", someone who thinks he can be a political influence.

Nope it is simpler than that.

He cannot stand to not be the center of things.

He s nothing more than a spoiled child.

Posted: Jun 4, 2012 - 5:15am

I really wonder what this guy's end game is? I guess he just fancies himself as some kind of "macher", someone who thinks he can be a political influence.

Posted: May 17, 2011 - 1:26pm

oldslabsides wrote:

Well, I guess we can stop talking about this old, daughter-lusting perv with really bizarre hair now, eh?

Who?

Posted: May 17, 2011 - 10:59am

On the other side of the pond to trump means to fart.....
Enough said really

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 7:36pm

oldslabsides wrote:

I'm afraid for the honorable folks populating either profession.

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 7:30pm

Manbird wrote:

We have been getting a slew of those since we took out our mortgage.

I'm afraid for the honorable folks populating either profession.

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 7:26pm

oldslabsides wrote:

are you saying you don't like Yes? because if you are...

We have been getting a slew of those since we took out our mortgage.

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 7:23pm

Manbird wrote:

Yessiree bob - a tuber.

are you saying you don't like Yes? because if you are...

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 7:19pm

oldviolin wrote:

is that a rhetorical answer? I think he was a plant anyway...

Yessiree bob - a tuber.

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 7:12pm

oldslabsides wrote:

Well, I guess we can stop talking about this old, daughter-lusting perv with really bizarre hair now, eh?

is that a rhetorical answer? I think he was a plant anyway...

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 7:08pm

Well, I guess we can stop talking about this old, daughter-lusting perv with really bizarre hair now, eh?

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 4:40pm

meower wrote:

the donald. that's awesome.

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 3:54pm

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 2:46pm

hippiechick wrote:

Comedians Beg Trump to Reconsider

20,000 Jokers March on Trump Tower

Posted: May 16, 2011 - 2:38pm

Comedians Beg Trump to Reconsider

20,000 Jokers March on Trump Tower

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Distraught at the news that Donald Trump will not seek the Republican nomination for President, the nation’s comedians took to the streets today, begging Mr. Trump to reconsider.

The largest gathering of comedians took place in Mr. Trump’s hometown of Manhattan, where an estimated crowd of 400,000 jokers marched on Trump Tower.

“I for one am devastated that Donald Trump has decided not to throw his hair in the ring,” said Jackie LaRossi, a comedian who is a regular at Manhattan’s Chuckle Barrel comedy club.

Shelley Schwartzenbaum, who headlines at the Komedy Kantina in Teaneck, New Jersey, added, “I guess he wanted to spend more time with the family of ferrets who nest on his head.”

A huge roar came up from the crowd when Mr. Trump made a brief appearance, reassuring the comedians that he would continue to be a laughingstock in the private sector.

But according to Mr. LaRossi, Mr. Trump’s departure from the race will have a severe economic impact on a comedy industry that is still reeling from last fall’s defeat of Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell.

“Sure, we’re happy that Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul are in, but frankly, that’s not enough to compensate for Trump being out,” he said. “In the days and weeks ahead you’re going to see comedians putting more pressure on Palin to announce.”

In other political news, IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn said the sexual misconduct charges against him would force him to drop out of the race for President of France and run for Prime Minister of Italy instead.

Posted: May 3, 2011 - 12:01pm

hippiechick wrote:

Elsewhere, in another setback for al-Qaeda, the terror network confirmed today that Osama bin Laden was the only person who knew the organization’s iTunes password.

That made me lol

Posted: May 3, 2011 - 11:50am

Trump Undecided About What Stupid Shit to Say Next

Longest Period of Speechlessness on Record, Experts Say

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - With the public’s attention focused on the death of Osama bin Laden, billionaire Donald Trump huddled with advisors for the second straight day to try to decide what stupid shit to say next.

“The bin Laden thing has definitely stolen the headlines from Donald,” said close associate and advisor Tracy Klugian. “The only way he can grab them back is by doing what he does best: saying something really fucked up.”

Trump’s two-day hiatus from spewing messed up shit is the longest on record, experts say, adding to the pressure on the billionaire to break his silence with something truly craptastic.

To that end, he has closeted himself with a circle of advisors including the Rev. Pat Robertson, former NBA star Charles Barkley, and the former voice of the Aflac duck, Gilbert Gottfried.

Mr. Trump has drawn up a short list of verbal turds that have potential, including attacking President Obama for overdue library books during his grade school years, but so far he has failed to come up with a comment that is both objectionable and ill informed enough to meet his high standards.

“People don’t know how much work goes into saying the stupid shit Donald says,” Mr. Klugian said. “He just makes it look easy.”

Elsewhere, in another setback for al-Qaeda, the terror network confirmed today that Osama bin Laden was the only person who knew the organization’s iTunes password.

Posted: Apr 29, 2011 - 12:55pm

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: I was going to make fun of the British monarchy until I remembered we have a comb-overed reality show host running for president.

Posted: Apr 28, 2011 - 11:59am

Posted: Apr 28, 2011 - 11:41am

Steve wrote:

Trump Dogged By Rumors His Hair is Not From U.S.

Or this Earth.