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meower

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Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Gemini


Posted: Apr 8, 2014 - 8:55am

http://www.salon.com/2014/04/07/5_reasons_why_anxiety_is_so_hard_to_manage_and_what_you_can_to_cope_partner/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

Have you ever had a friend or family member tell you to “just get over it” when you felt sad or worried? If getting rid of negative emotions is so easy, why is it that more than 21 million children and adults get diagnosed with depression each year and that depression is the leading cause of disability for adults age 15-44? Why is it that 40 million adults in the United States suffer from an anxiety disorder? The truth is we can’t just get rid of negative emotions whenever we feel like it. Sometimes we can distract ourselves or think more positively, but at other times the emotions grab hold of us and cling on.

The reason it is such a struggle to combat negative emotions is that they are there for a reason—to warn us of danger and gear up our minds and bodies for escape or self-protection or to help us withdraw and conserve energy when we face a loss. But sometimes these reactions are unwarranted, too intense, or interfere with effective coping and problem-solving. Below are five reasons why negative emotions are so hard to manage.

1. Your brain is wired for survival, not happiness. That is why it keeps bringing up negative emotions, past mistakes and worries about the future. Because of this wiring, you can get stuck in repetitive cycles of self-criticism, worry and fear that interfere with your ability to enjoy the present moment.

2. It doesn’t work to just shove negative emotions down or pretend they don’t exist. Your mind will keep bringing them up again as a reminder that you have an ongoing problem that needs to be handled (even when there is nothing you can actually do to make it better). Research by Daniel Wegner and colleagues suggests that suppressing thoughts while in a negative mood makes it more likely that both the thoughts and the negative mood will reoccur.

3. Your body and mind react to mental images and events as if they are events happening in the real world. Try thinking about smelling and then biting into a lemon. You will likely feel a change in saliva in your mouth. Now think about putting your hand on a hot stove. Do you feel your heart pounding a bit faster? You can get just as stressed by thoughts about an event as by the event itself. When negative feelings become chronic, they wear out your mind and body, causing inflammation, hormonal imbalance, or impaired immunity.


 

4. Negative thoughts feed on each other. You may worry about not having enough money. Next you think, “What if I lose my job?” Then you wonder you could ask for help and next thing, you’re feeling alone and unsupported. Rumination can turn a controllable problem into a set of insurmountable difficulties.

5. The things you do to avoid or try to cope with feeling negative emotions may be more counterproductive than the emotions themselves. You may turn to alcohol, marijuana, or excess use of prescription drugs to escape feeling bad. These substances can have long-term negative effects on mood and motivation and have addictive properties. Turning to food excessively can lead to overweight or obesity and low self-esteem associated with weight gain. Getting angry and blaming others for your negative emotions can strain your relationships. Retail therapy can lead to debt.

What You Can Do

If suppression doesn’t work, what can you do with sad, angry or anxious feelings? Below are six surprising coping strategies that can help.

1. Allow Feelings In

The feelings will be there anyway, so why not take a look at them? Perhaps they have a message for you about something in your life that needs to change. Perhaps they are a symptom of past, unresolved painful events that need more processing and attention. They may signal strong unmet needs that would be helpful to pay attention to. When you invite emotions in and let them be there, they become less scary and shameful. They will naturally run their course and move on through.

2. Untangle Feelings From Negative Judgments

You may have learned negative messages about emotions from your family or culture. Perhaps you learned emotions are a sign of weakness or that they make you vulnerable and unprotected. As you begin to untangle the feelings themselves from your negative judgments about them, emotions become more palatable. You begin to create more space for them and listen to them more. You become more self-aware of your reactions and of what people and situations are personal triggers.

3. Notice the Connection Between Feelings and Events

Feelings provide information about what you find pleasant or unpleasant; whom you love and whom you fear. Once you understand the connection between events in your life, your thoughts and your feelings, you are better prepared to take good care of yourself and protect your own boundaries. You begin to anticipate how you will react to certain people or events, which allows you to make better choices about how you spend your time. You can anticipate emotionally high-risk situations and prepare coping strategies in advance.

4. Broaden the View

Anxiety and depression make your thinking more rigid—you focus on the negative, which can lead to catastrophizing and magnifying the problem. This makes you feel even more stuck. It can help to deliberately take a step back and to ask yourself if there is a different way to look at the situation, or how an uninvolved observer might see things. Doing something you enjoy instead of worrying can create positive affect that naturally broadens your thinking. This can lead you to come up with more creative solutions that you won’t see when caught up in a negative emotional loop.

5. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is both a set of practices and a way of thinking about life that is based on Buddhist traditions that are 3,000 years old. Being mindful means having a gentle, open and accepting attitude toward your own experiences and surroundings, whatever those may be. As Eckhart Tolle, a writer and spiritual teacher, once stated: “Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” Meditating, focusing on your breath, or taking a nature walk and focusing on the sights, smells, and sounds are good ways to learn how to be mindful. Mindfulness creates a spaciousness of mind that allows emotions to be there without clinging to them.

6. Find Support

Sometimes, emotions can be difficult to manage alone because it’s so hard to step out of your point of view and see things objectively. It can help to get support and feedback from a friend, colleague or family member. Let the person know exactly what you are looking for, whether it is emotional support, information or resources to help. Psychotherapy can provide you with expert guidance, coping strategies and emotional support to calm negative emotions and find clarity and courage to move forward in life.

Although negative emotions are a challenge, there are effective ways to cope. By practicing these strategies, you will become more tolerant of them and less likely to get caught up in downward spirals of gloom and doom.

 

meower

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Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Gemini


Posted: Mar 18, 2014 - 4:51am

 Skaterella wrote:

I guess that's what I'm getting at. this kid was failed. He wasn't just a monster who should never have been born,

 

Gotcha. 
Skaterella

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Location: jrzy
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Pisces
Chinese Yr: Buffalo


Posted: Mar 17, 2014 - 5:18pm

 meower wrote:


Here's the thing, and the last thing that I want to do here is Mother bash. This child was tried on ONE medication, and as far as I could tell from the article, that was also the family's only attempt at treatment. He and his mom became increasingly isolated and stopped reaching out.  There was something part and parcel to the mom-kid dynamic here that further exacerbated his symptoms. 

The system did not fail THIS child, although it certainly has failed others.

 
I guess that's what I'm getting at. this kid was failed. He wasn't just a monster who should never have been born,
meower

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Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Gemini


Posted: Mar 17, 2014 - 7:15am

 Skaterella wrote:

Perhaps some context would make my thoughts more understandable. I'm a single mom of a mentally ill, autistic child. I work in a prison and see adults just like my son who didn't have the benefit of support from family and community and the medical community and it drives me a little nutty. There is really no good system of care for the mentally ill, especially children. Until that changes this stuff will keep happening.

 

Here's the thing, and the last thing that I want to do here is Mother bash. This child was tried on ONE medication, and as far as I could tell from the article, that was also the family's only attempt at treatment. He and his mom became increasingly isolated and stopped reaching out.  There was something part and parcel to the mom-kid dynamic here that further exacerbated his symptoms. 

The system did not fail THIS child, although it certainly has failed others.
RichardPrins
Anti-Procrustean
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Posted: Mar 16, 2014 - 9:38pm

 Skaterella wrote:
Perhaps some context would make my thoughts more understandable. I'm a single mom of a mentally ill, autistic child. I work in a prison and see adults just like my son who didn't have the benefit of support from family and community and the medical community and it drives me a little nutty. There is really no good system of care for the mentally ill, especially children. Until that changes this stuff will keep happening.
 
Some societies do a better job than others, even though there are often no silver bullets for the variety of problems that exist with forms of mental illness. In some cases it may end up as being little more than experimenting with medication to keep things manageable. In other cases, therapies can provide some help/benefits.

However, providing no care or support, by for instance dumping patients in the streets (and consequently in some cases in prisons), will likely help no one and might lead to even bigger tragedies.
Skaterella

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Location: jrzy
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Pisces
Chinese Yr: Buffalo


Posted: Mar 16, 2014 - 9:00pm

 RichardPrins wrote:

He wishes his son had never been born, in hindsight, and in light of all the grief the boy has caused. I think that's understandable.
Peter declared that he wished Adam had never been born, that there could be no remembering who he was outside of who he became. “That didn’t come right away. That’s not a natural thing, when you’re thinking about your kid. But, God, there’s no question. There can only be one conclusion, when you finally get there. That’s fairly recent, too, but that’s totally where I am."
The article points out that he did try to help, but obviously not enough. The mother, and the boy himself, were complicating factors in the story as well. He may have known something was wrong with the boy, but that doesn't mean he can predict the future or the eventual outcome (or even prevent it). Nobody can, not even specialists (as can be read in the article as well).

 
Perhaps some context would make my thoughts more understandable. I'm a single mom of a mentally ill, autistic child. I work in a prison and see adults just like my son who didn't have the benefit of support from family and community and the medical community and it drives me a little nutty. There is really no good system of care for the mentally ill, especially children. Until that changes this stuff will keep happening.
RichardPrins
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Posted: Mar 16, 2014 - 6:57pm

 Skaterella wrote:
I was really bothered by this father being quoted as saying that he wishes his son had never been born and that he knew for years something was wrong. So were was he? Why didn't he help his kid? And why on earth did they allow themir son access to guns.
 
He wishes his son had never been born, in hindsight, and in light of all the grief the boy has caused. I think that's understandable.
Peter declared that he wished Adam had never been born, that there could be no remembering who he was outside of who he became. “That didn’t come right away. That’s not a natural thing, when you’re thinking about your kid. But, God, there’s no question. There can only be one conclusion, when you finally get there. That’s fairly recent, too, but that’s totally where I am."
The article points out that he did try to help, but obviously not enough. The mother, and the boy himself, were complicating factors in the story as well. He may have known something was wrong with the boy, but that doesn't mean he can predict the future or the eventual outcome (or even prevent it). Nobody can, not even specialists (as can be read in the article as well).
Skaterella

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Location: jrzy
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Pisces
Chinese Yr: Buffalo


Posted: Mar 16, 2014 - 6:28pm

 RichardPrins wrote: 
I was really bothered by this father being quoted as saying that he wishes his son had never been born and that he knew for years something was wrong. So were was he? Why didn't he help his kid? And why on earth did they allow themir son access to guns. 
RichardPrins
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Posted: Mar 16, 2014 - 5:09pm

Andrew Solomon: The Father of the Sandy Hook Killer Searches for Answers : The New Yorker
Antigone

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Posted: Feb 8, 2014 - 10:00am

 meower wrote:

I don't know, the social work intern I work with feels more that the graduate school thing is somewhat of a coverup, to keep their numbers down and not make the school look bad..... Knowing Penn, and I suppose institutions of it's sort, I believe there's a political motive behind it.....also of course, we all know that suicide can be "contagious" so I'd like think that perhaps they're trying to keep the community safe as well.

 
It's a complicated and delicate situation, for sure. And there is still such a stigma attached to suicide (not telling you anything you don't already know).

It made me think about the Clery Act, which since it covers "crime" doesn't include suicide.
meower

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Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Gemini


Posted: Feb 8, 2014 - 9:54am

 Antigone wrote:

Could the article in the University paper be a matter of privacy? Maybe the students' families don't want the situations publicized. It's a fine line, and I completely understand your concern and frustration, SOMH. Having said that, now your department ... that's a whole 'nuther thing.



 
I don't know, the social work intern I work with feels more that the graduate school thing is somewhat of a coverup, to keep their numbers down and not make the school look bad..... Knowing Penn, and I suppose institutions of it's sort, I believe there's a political motive behind it.....also of course, we all know that suicide can be "contagious" so I'd like think that perhaps they're trying to keep the community safe as well.


Antigone

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Location: A house, in a Virginian Valley
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Aquarius
Chinese Yr: Rat


Posted: Feb 8, 2014 - 9:48am

 meower wrote:

There have been 6 suicides of University of PA students that I know about since the beginning of Winter Break this year. Four were undergrads, one in Grad school of Social work and one in the grad school of education.

A recent article in the UoP student paper referred to the 4 undergrads, but didn't mention the grad students. An email that went out to students today referred to the "mental health needs of students" and to "student deaths" not at all referring to them as suicides.

It's upsetting, the lack of transparency. No one has mentioned the suicides in my department, although we are affiliated with PENN and we have a recent suicide prevention initiative.

 

 



 
Could the article in the University paper be a matter of privacy? Maybe the students' families don't want the situations publicized. It's a fine line, and I completely understand your concern and frustration, SOMH. Having said that, now your department ... that's a whole 'nuther thing.


buzz
banjaxed
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Location: up the boohai
Zodiac: Aquarius
Chinese Yr: Rat


Posted: Feb 8, 2014 - 9:27am

 meower wrote:

There have been 6 suicides of University of PA students that I know about since the beginning of Winter Break this year. Four were undergrads, one in Grad school of Social work and one in the grad school of education.

A recent article in the UoP student paper referred to the 4 undergrads, but didn't mention the grad students. An email that went out to students today referred to the "mental health needs of students" and to "student deaths" not at all referring to them as suicides.

It's upsetting, the lack of transparency. No one has mentioned the suicides in my department, although we are affiliated with PENN and we have a recent suicide prevention initiative.

 

 



 
Can you write a letter to the editor? 
meower

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Location: i believe, i believe, it's silly, but I believe
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Gemini


Posted: Feb 8, 2014 - 8:58am

There have been 6 suicides of University of PA students that I know about since the beginning of Winter Break this year. Four were undergrads, one in Grad school of Social work and one in the grad school of education.

A recent article in the UoP student paper referred to the 4 undergrads, but didn't mention the grad students. An email that went out to students today referred to the "mental health needs of students" and to "student deaths" not at all referring to them as suicides.

It's upsetting, the lack of transparency. No one has mentioned the suicides in my department, although we are affiliated with PENN and we have a recent suicide prevention initiative.

 

 


BlueHeronDruid

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Posted: Jan 26, 2014 - 8:25pm

 Manbird wrote:
 Buy a chocolate machine gun. DoiBlueHeronDruid wrote:

It's friends who are calling. Also, Mirdio, don't be doing anything rash, because what would I do with all this money?

 
Buy a chocolate machine gun. Doi.



 
Actually, I'd go with a creme brulee machine. But still.
Manbird
Offal Makes Me Strong! Strong! Strong! Weak! Strong! Strong! Strong! Strong! Strong! Strong!
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Location: Santa Rosa, CA
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Virgo


Posted: Jan 26, 2014 - 8:22pm

 bokey wrote:

Cool dude,I didn't know about the phone thing. Sorry to have called.I was worried about you.{#Hug}

 
No probemito, friendo.
Manbird
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Location: Santa Rosa, CA
Gender: Male
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Posted: Jan 26, 2014 - 8:21pm

 Buy a chocolate machine gun. DoiBlueHeronDruid wrote:

It's friends who are calling. Also, Mirdio, don't be doing anything rash, because what would I do with all this money?

 
Buy a chocolate machine gun. Doi.


bokey
Bokey
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Location: Natsville
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Posted: Jan 26, 2014 - 8:20pm

 rryManbird wrote:
For those of you who don't already know - the phone ringing gives me a panic attack but I have to leave it on.
I'm OK seriously. I just don't talk on the phone because of my aspergers.  Thanks for your concern. I really appreciate it! No Worries, {#Hug}

 
Cool dude,I didn't know about the phone thing. Sorry to have called.I was worried about you.{#Hug}
BlueHeronDruid

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Posted: Jan 26, 2014 - 8:19pm

 Manbird wrote:
For those of you who don't already know - the phone ringing gives me a panic attack but I have to leave it on.
I'm OK seriously. I just don't talk on the phone because of my aspergers.  Thanks for your concern. I really appreciate it! No Worries, {#Hug}

 
It's friends who are calling. Also, Mirdio, don't be doing anything rash, because what would I do with all this money?
gypsyman

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Posted: Jan 26, 2014 - 8:03pm

 Red_Dragon wrote:

Love you, Rob. Your Big head is why.

 
ditto, bro
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