If someone told me some time ago that I'm gonna do the things I did (still doing?), I would never believe it. I'm not ashamed or anything, it's not about that. It's just that I never thought that I could do them. It's always nice to discover yourself, I believe. And I might get used to all this, but I know I wouldn't want them to last forever, because I do need some peace and quiet and someone to rely on.

These days have been a little bit of an eye-opener, but there's yet more to come. On Sunday or Monday I have want to meet with someone to tell him exactly how he made me feel and what I think about him and everything that happened. Never did that before. If something didn't work, I just let it go. Until now.  So I am a little bit nervous...Don't know what to say and how to say it, but I sure hope to say everything I have to say. It's not about me wanting to get back with him, it's not about blaming or anything. There were many many things left unsaid, and because of that I just can't move on.

But I am very nervous. And I don't know if I should think very seriously about the things I want to tell him or just wait to meet with him and talk freely.