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The Beat Farmers — California Kid
Album: Tales Of The New West
Avg rating:
4.9

Your rating:
Total ratings: 282









Released: 1985
Length: 2:33
Plays (last 30 days): 0
I rode into town on a crippled horse
Got fired from a cattle drive up north
The ropes of the gallows were swingin' in the breeze
All the Wanted Posters had pictures of me

I got my Colt Forty Five, right by my side
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die

Tied what was left of my horse to a hitch
Walked into a saloon, they called the 'Busted Bitch'
I ordered up a whiskey, they asked me for my bread
I paid him two bits, then I pumped him full of lead

I got my Colt Forty Five, right by my side
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die

A lady of the evening was eyeballing me
Staring down from the balcony
She walked up to me with gun powder breath
The ace of hearts was bleeding from her hip
I dragged her upstairs by her lower lip

I got my Colt Forty Five, right by my side
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die

She undid my boots, she untied my jeans
She untied my tubes I had tied in my teens
'bout that time the front door was kicked in
and there stood some scumball all covered in sin
he said "that's my woman" I said "that's no lie"
I blew a hole in him just as big as the sky

I got my Colt Forty Five, right by my side
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die
Comments (97)add comment
Nothing worse than gunpowder breath. 😅
Love the songs
Horrible ... PSD
You didnt have to be there but if you were its a 10!
This put a great big smile on my face! Go Country Dick! {#Jump}
I was gonna rate this 7, but bumped it up to compensate for all those folks with a maddening narrow perspective of what good music is allowed to be.
 Oscar_the_Grouch wrote:
To open your little mind to the wider world of music you may never have heard before and wouldn't ordinarily hear, thus breaking you out of your well padded comfort zone. Are you sure you're in the right place?
 
Bump. Grouch speak truth.

It's goofy, it's funny. I like it.
Cowpunk and thrilling tales of yesteryear.
Insert optional verse now:

Well, we rolled up Interstate 44 
Like a rocket sled on rails. 
We tore up all of our swindle sheets, 
And left 'em settin' on the scales. 
By the time we hit that Shy-town, 
Them bears was a-gettin' smart: 
They'd brought up some reinforcements 
From the Illinois National Guard. 
There's armored cars, and tanks, and jeeps, 
And rigs of ev'ry size. 
Yeah, them chicken coops was full'a bears 
And choppers filled the skies. 
Well, we shot the line and we went for broke 
With a thousand screamin' trucks 
An' eleven long-haired Friends a' Jesus 
In a chartreuse micro-bus. 

{#Cowboy}

just plain awful!

Bazooka wrote:
just plain awesome!
 


10 but yeah I'm sure you had to be there. 3 years since the last play tho. It could stand to get played a bit more than that... maybe once a month forever...
 cosmiclint wrote:
This one gets me thinking about Winona's big brown beaver
 
I was just thinking this too!  {#High-five}
..must have a look at my horse.....{#Snooty}
Woo Hoo!  Go Beat Farmers, Mojo Nixon and Rev. Horton Heat .... "Redneck Rampage".


namp wrote:
dreadful...!


Yes! And for that I must give it a 7. Man what would Billy Dee Williams say?

Why?
Yee-haw Country Dick, yee-haw! Santa Cruz fave a couple decades back. {#Devil_pimp}
This one gets me thinking about Winona's big brown beaver
 Art_Carnage wrote:
A mediocre novelty song by a mediocre novelty band.
 
Well it's a novelty to me and a pretty funny one too - cheesier than a barrel of aged Gorgonzola. 7 from the Nottingham jury, though I'm sure it could get wearing after too many listens.


dreadful...!

Now that's what I call eclectic.

A mediocre novelty song by a mediocre novelty band.
 Businessgypsy wrote:
Hey this reminds me - anybody know of a good alt.country station? The two I frequent, twangcity.com and soma's bootliquorFM are pretty mainstream. It's a great genre with some breakthrough work, and I miss the old cable station I had for it when I lived in CA. THANKS!
 
"...good alt.country..." oxymoron?

just plain awesome!
just plain dumb!
You know, I had sort of gotten used to my upload of Wynona's Big Brown Beaver being bounced until I heard this.

Wynona is way, way better than this.

I don't get it.

 njacker wrote:
If you've ever seen them, you'd understand. It's nice to hear a little BF on the RP once in a while!
 
Absolutely!   Or if you've heard a few more cuts, you get it.   Blazin' twangin' pickin' goofiness ... Frank Zappa meets Joe Ely.

I try not to complain about songs being "overplayed," but when it comes to this song OH HELL NO. Twice in a three-month period is way too often.


I've always loved this tune, haven't heard it in more than ten years.  Thanks, Bill! you continue to amaze me with your eclectic taste.

I'm glad my 9 bumped this from 4.8 up to 4.9!

 ploba wrote:
Just Horrible.   Bill I bet you play this so that we will appreciate everything else that much more  :)
 
That's about the only purpose this song serves.

 jjbix wrote:
What a waste of airspace!  With so much good music out there why this Bill, why??
 
You'nz don' got no couth...

... "I drug 'er upstairs by her lower lip"...
I laughed till I howled...
THANKS for the laugh...  I needed one this morning.
Terrible on the one hand, but a well played guitar on the other.
   {#Cowboy}{#Bananajam}{#Dancingbanana_2}
Horrible? Maybe, but also cheeky and silly. Life could use more silly. I think you have to be in the right mood to appreciate this one. {#Cowboy}
Exactly!

 
njacker wrote:
If you've ever seen them, you'd understand. It's nice to hear a little BF on the RP once in a while!
 


 jjbix wrote:
What a waste of airspace!  With so much good music out there why this Bill, why??
 
To open your little mind to the wider world of music you may never have heard before and wouldn't ordinarily hear, thus breaking you out of your well padded comfort zone. Are you sure you're in the right place?

Just Horrible.   Bill I bet you play this so that we will appreciate everything else that much more  :)
If you've ever seen them, you'd understand. It's nice to hear a little BF on the RP once in a while!
What a waste of airspace!  With so much good music out there why this Bill, why??
Goofy, goofy, goofy. Love it.
Somebody doesn't like this song :)

Made me chuckle the moment I heard the riff.
Who are all you people giving this a 7?

I could loan you weapons, too? 

OK, you can keep the weapons.

PLEASE! 
If I was as bad as these guys, I would blow my brains out, but not until I had a friend promise to shoot me twice after I was dead.

Just to be sure.

If you Beat Farmers are listening, I would be glad to loan you weapons.

 
 rtrudeau wrote:
 
This song was pretty funny. I'd like to hear it about once a year.
 
Not nearly as funny as it was HORRIBLE!
 Geecheeboy wrote:
Sometimes RP dips swerves into Demento Territory.  I find his voice very amusing.

  
This song was pretty funny. I'd like to hear it about once a year.

Compared to this, Abba's Fernando played earlier was a welcome breath of fresh air!
Beat THIS!

Worst bands ever on RP:

1. Beat Farmers
2. Cake
3. That band with the Cambodian woman screaming???

God this is fargin' horrible!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Saw them live at a comedy club in San Diego. Most fun I've ever had at a show. There's a  lot of room in rock and roll. Enjoy it for what it is.
Been a two forever.  Today, I'm hearing the humor louder than the simply odd.  Seven.
Hands down one of my top five live bands. They had a sense of humor that is sadly missing in music lately.
Sometimes RP dips swerves into Demento Territory.  I find his voice very amusing.


Ah, the Beat Farmers!

Laugh People! It's funny!

{#Lol}
Wow. This is...um... This is pretty bad. And not in a good way.

I lay down
She undid my boots
She untied my jeans
She untied my tubes I had tied in my teens

at first i thought this was sleepy labeef but then i realized his voice isn't deep enough.
Gimmick music. Leave it to the KTel archives.
I wish "Bigger Stones" from this album would get played. It's the best song on there.

I need to upload "Little Balls of Yarn" off of Country Dicks rare EP.
What a hoot that one is.
entertaining if you can anything else you're doing on hold and muster enough concentration to catch every word, but overall a bit of an annoying detour in what was an awesome set.
Geez! Hope I don't have to wait two more years to hear this again!
Imkirok wrote:
Hilarious! Where else could you hear this stuff? Keep it coming, Bill!
There is a point when satire becomes too close to the thing satirized. I think that such is the case with this group--I can't stand them, funny or not.
umm...not so much. good follow up to "boy named sue"-but...a whee bit too early in the morning.
This song deserves a mention here. (click here)
This just followed "A Boy Named Sue" by Johnny Cash. This could almost be "A Boy Named Sue" by Johnny Cash.
Hilarious! Where else could you hear this stuff? Keep it coming, Bill!
You know what I hate WORST about both this and "Happy Boy"? It's the fact that I sort of like 'em. Ghaaaa!
I like this song because it seems like one of those silly old western songs but it's just a bit more graphic.
billery wrote:
So sad some of your chamomile-tea drinking fuckers don't get the humor. Just go back to crocheting your macrame jockstraps and don't mind this track, mmmm-kay??!?!?!??
chamomile-tea drinking fuckers!!! Now thats funny!! I dont care who you are!! Keep comments like this going! I love opinionated comments!
billery wrote:
So sad some of your chamomile-tea drinking fuckers don't get the humor. Just go back to crocheting your macrame jockstraps and don't mind this track, mmmm-kay??!?!?!??
Hey Hey! we don't need to get all insulting about it! Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I should know, I'm opinionated myself.
Great good morning song!
Just a fun tune, keep them coming Bill
So sad some of your chamomile-tea drinking fuckers don't get the humor. Just go back to crocheting your macrame jockstraps and don't mind this track, mmmm-kay??!?!?!??
WIth all due respect to the dearly departed wild man who gave this band its "personality", I'd have prefered he left the songwriting and singing to the others (excepting Happy Boy of course). Love the band - just not this song.
Art_Carnage wrote:
I novelty songs go, I wish this one would.
This song was funny 20 years ago right? Is there any real need to play it any more? Please file it next to: "Monster Mash".
joe1 wrote:
FUN? I'd rather pluck my toenails out with pliers..
agreed. This is bad. The headphones have come off. Ick. Not fun. Bad.
joe1 wrote:
So you liked it, Spasso?.....
Yes
I novelty songs go, I wish this one would.
joe1 wrote:
Just WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????? For feck sake Bill?...WTF is going on here? OK..I thought this station was OK...I think FECKING differently now..... BOLLOCKS!!!
e·clec·tic (-kl ktk) adj. 1. Selecting or employing individual elements from a variety of sources, systems, or styles: an eclectic taste in music; an eclectic approach to managing the economy.
I gave him his two bits and I pumped him full 'o lead!
joe1 wrote:
Just WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????? For feck sake Bill?...WTF is going on here? OK..I thought this station was OK...I think FECKING differently now..... BOLLOCKS!!!
lighten up you limey git - it's fun!
byer--lower lip!
Businessgypsy wrote:
Hey this reminds me - anybody know of a good alt.country station? The two I frequent, twangcity.com and soma's bootliquorFM are pretty mainstream. It's a great genre with some breakthrough work, and I miss the old cable station I had for it when I lived in CA. THANKS!
Didn't you just write the exact same thing on another song? I could be imagining it and going round the twist. -Adrian
Geek rock.
Hey this reminds me - anybody know of a good alt.country station? The two I frequent, twangcity.com and soma's bootliquorFM are pretty mainstream. It's a great genre with some breakthrough work, and I miss the old cable station I had for it when I lived in CA. THANKS!
Saw them at college days back at CSU many years ago. Great show! This brings back some fun memories.
Was this played on KFAT? Maybe not old enough?
God Bless Country Dick...
i'm laughin'
What a great song! Would like to hear Happy Boy as well.
Weren't these the guys who did the soundtrack to "Redneck Rampage" ?
RIP County Dick Montana. He was a Happy Boy!
I paid him two bits then I pumped him fulla lead! Long live Country Dick!